We've all seen the pictures of dogs and their owners that look alike, well someone finally decided to put some time and energy into a study of the why's of it all. So they say:

Research at the University of California, San Diego indicates that when people pick a dog, they look for one that, at some level, bears some resemblance to them. And when they get a purebred dog, they get what they want.

Well for the purebred dogs I've picked and owned: miniature Doberman, Australian Shepherds (my favorite), poodles, Yorkshire Terrier, Golden Retriever, Black and Chocolate Labs, and a collie. I always wanted a Greyhound but I guess I could never catch up to one. Apparently I have an identity crisis.

As for Minnie, Blue, Daisy, Babe, Lucy, Sam, Fat Mouse, Lucky, Princess, Fergie and Hershey. All were good friends and I miss them all.

So what purebred dog do you look like? So what purebred dog would you love to own or do own?

Yep, today was FUBAR. Sometimes I think I'm having a FUBAR moment, sometimes I think I might be having a FUBAR day. I was wrong, because today was FUBAR. I have witnesses.

My boss was gone today and not to be back til next Tuesday. That leaves me in charge of the facility, damn I hate that. The Gods of long term care obviously found this out and decided today was "Play with Dawn's Sanity Day". They succeeded.

Today started out deceptively calm and peaceful as I planned my day unaware that havoc was hiding waiting to pounce on me. So being the peaceful day I thought it was going to be I grabbed the facility Doctor and decided today was the day we were going to review 150 patients medications for unnecessary drugs. Much to my amazement we did get this done in 2 hours time. That was the good part of the day...but wait..

I'll make this brief....

At 9:30am I hear my maintenance supervisor over the PA system announce "Attention, Attention...due to a major sewer back up in the kitchen all water will be shut off for an undetermined amount of time." Oh hell no. Over 200 employees and patients in a building without water is not a good thing. Ok, we can do this.

10:00am One of my nurses approaches me "Umm Dawn, were you aware the elevators are not working?" Shit. Ok, things are getting a little tougher. We can do this.

11:15am "Ummm...Dawn, can you come into Rm ###, the wall socket is on fire." I think this was the moment I deemed today FUBAR. Luckily the wall socket was smouldering out and unplugging the TV made it quit I guess. The black wall did not look good.

12:45pm Received a call from the corporate pharmacy consultant "I'm going to be in your building in about an hour to do an inspection and review. I'm bringing a team. We should finish up by tomorrow...hope this is a good time?" Oh yeah, great time, c'mon over. Like I have a choice? It's an inspection.

1:15pm A group of men arrive arrive from Houston IT department...yep, Houston, Texas to install 18 new computers and printers. "Dawn, where do you want them?" Umm....no one let you know where they are going? "Well no" Well no one even told me today was the day they were coming. I might of gotten pissed off about this point, but the IT guys were cute. Besides when do I ever get to see "guys" where I work? So...I'm actually not going to include this in the FUBAR moments. Like they are really cute and going to be back tomorrow. Ok...so moving right along.

1:45pm I decide to grab my Lean Cuisine before the havoc monster finds me again. So I grab a corner in the back of the breakroom...trying to hide. Didn't work. I take my first bite of low fat chicken alfredo and I hear "I'm sick of this shit and I'm not going to do it" And a dietary employee gets up and walks out of the breakroom. Good...quiet. That lasts about 3 minutes and I hear "Where's Dawn, I'm not going to take this!" Coming from the Dietary Supervisors mouth and heading toward the breakroom. Well damn. So in comes the Dietary Supe and the employee both yelling they aren't going to take this. Dietary Supe says she told loud mouth employee to punch out and leave, loud mouth employee refuses and proceeds to get in my face. Screaming that she wants a meeting NOW! Ok, so I calmly tell her she's not in a frame of mind to have a meeting, go on home, calm down, and come back in tomorrow for a meeting. At this point she backs me up against that little cozy corner in the breakroom and tells me she's not leaving til we have a meeting. I told her 5 times as I backed her away from me to leave the building. For some reason she didn't get the hint. I had to call 911 to have her removed...of course by this time, it's a permanent removal. Forty-five minutes later...the chicken alfredo is cold but still tastes fine.

2:45pm Irrate relative upset today, because I told the family yesterday that they need to find a new facility for "Mom" because dear Mom is an elopement risk and I am worried for her safety in my facility. She needs a locked down facility. Forty-five minutes later son decides maybe my decision is in Mom's best interest, calms down and leaves, not even bothering to say "hi" to Mom while he's there. Asshole.

4pm Hire a weekend supervisor. (This is a great thing.)

4:30pm Run from the facility fast without looking back.

Damn it's good to be home, even though work has already called four times.
Four more working days til vacation. I can do this. Oh, about the brief part? I lied.

It seems Google made some changes. Looks nice, but damn it all, I fell to number six on the general bullshit search. See what happens when you procrastinate?

I went to the dentist today to get my teeth cleaned. Now it feels like my teeth are wobbling. What's up with that? Who would of thought tartar was a stabilizer.

I've been bitching and moaning about Detroit's healthcare system for 5 years now, especially regarding nursing home care. People I work with are probably tired of me saying "Well in Iowa it wasn't like this!" Frankly they just don't believe me. I've worked in Nebraska and Illinois also and it wasn't like this.

I'm definitely going to print this article and show it to them:

Los Angeles is the nation's best city for nursing home care, according to a new study. Detroit led the company's list of cities with the worst nursing home care.

Fifty-four percent of Detroit's facilities had actual harm federal deficiencies in the last 4 years. Scarey shit.

People that live here, grew up here will give you all kinds of excuses as to why. The why is this area has the largest percent of workers with the poorest work ethics, and amazing belief that the "system" owes them, and no desire to do a good job. Also I personally believe the easiest cirriculum for nurses in the U.S. that is mass producing under educated nurses.

This attitude goes far beyond the healthcare here. You can witness it daily in restaurants, retail stores and bank lines. A total disregard for others. It's the "Life is all about me, so fuck you" syndrome. There is a reason Detroit's homicide rate is so high. I'm sure that's not even counting the neglect in their nursing homes.

Anyone who lives in this area and has never lived in another portion of the country for any length of time would tell me I'm so full of shit. Well I am, but not about this.

I'm not sure when the last time I blogged but it's obviously been awhile. Yes I could look but then I would feel this twang of guilt for being the Queen of Procrastination. No, it wouldn't last much longer than a twang...but still it would happen, then I would decide I'm just not going to think about it and move merrily along. But I hate missing a beat.

Yes the walls over here are starting to echo from just the screams of the Hugoists and their tormenters. So I guess it's time to move some furniture back in here, hang a few fluff pieces of boy wonders on the wall and restock the fridge.

I have no excuses for not blogging, I've always admitted that procrastination is my theme in life...that's my story and I'm going with what works. Well works for me, according to the people at the gas and electric companies, they are not amused with my attitude. So Friday, I decided Saturday I would soothe the hungry beasts and even get back to blogging. Well the latter didn't happen, and I did nap through getting to the bank but what the hell. I feel good. And I'm blogging. The world is again set back on it's axle for me and the sun is shining, birds are singing and somewhere over a rainbow Judy Garland is singing. I think a trip to Walgreens is in order.

Anyway, my life has been good as it travels by at the speed of light. If you don't believe that...tell me, just where did March go? Hmm? I think someone whited-out the odd days for March, because surely 28 days of this month has just flown by.

I have 27 days of vacation built up so it's time to start whittling them down. Not to mention 6 weeks of sick pay sitting there looking pretty (cough) as it's reached its cap. I have a few trips planned over the next two months: east coast for some sight seeing with a friend, PA for Susan's wedding, Iowa for the Grandbaby's 2nd birthday. Wonder how many miles I have to do with Northwest Airline before I can hit that "Elite Member" line and by pass the cattle herding lines? Just one more little goal in life to shoot for.

Anyway, life is good, I am good....ok, well a little bored, but other than that I have nothing to complain about, well...there are those little lines starting to develop on my chin... oh, nevermind.

Well blogging has been non-existent lately, but despite the snow fall this week, the short Vegas trip has me back on the road where I belong. Feeling human again.

I have several news sites I visit almost daily and had gotten in the habit if I seen something that sort of tripped my trigger, I would save it in my favorites to blog about. Well the folder has been growing and growing since I haven't been blogging. So today, I thought maybe I'd share a few...so I can clean it out, you know?

Thanks to a Canton, MI woman the courts have said it's perfectly legal to bitch, moan and groan on the web about a company, if we so choose. So if you've had shitty service, let the world know. Can you hear me now Sprint?

The Agriculture Department who manages the food pyramid will release a version next year that will allow an interactive approach to figuring out what the body needs and a little more easier to understand. Come on now, if you can't figure out that if you weigh 300# the 11 servings of bread isn't the right choice, what the hell is an interactive guide going to do? All Americans really need is a wonderful little device that will bitchslap you when you open the refrigerator I wonder how many more fad diets can be released by then? Take a clue people...cut the calories and burn off a few. This really isn't rocket science. We are fat because we eat too much...and no, that loaf of white bread is not your enemy, you are.

Not alot I can say about our Medicaid system that is favorable, but with 42.4 million people being subsidized out of our taxes last year scares the shit out of me. How long can we keep turning our backs on a healthcare system that is eroding faster than the ozone layer. Oh wait..that's not happening either.

I'm not sure what I would do with a pair of robotic legs but for some strange reason, I want some.

....was everything I always figured it would be. I lost a lot of money, just like I always knew I would. It's so ironic to think about this major glitzy cheesy tourist trap in the middle of the dessert, where people fly in from all over the world to lose money. I think the combination of the dry air and the altitude makes people lose their minds. Either that or it's some sort of rays from Area 51.

I only took 5 pictures the whole time I was there, and that was out of the hotel window. The one thing I did see that I was too dumbfounded at the time to think about the camera: I seen the largest set of boobs on a woman that I've ever seen my life. These babies were torpedos. The bad part of it all was they shot straight out of her waist. I mean like, if she had been sitting down, they'd of rested on her legs. I know anyone would think I'm exaggerating...but no shitting, that's the one site from Vegas I will never forget. I might be scarred for life. No, I was not drinking then. I think I started drinking whiskey after that though.

It was great seeing Susan again. I hadn't seen her for two and a half years but things seem to pick up without a missing a beat. A couple of things have changed over the years though...we can't seem to eat, drink or stay awake like we used too. Susan is getting older you know.

Now I think I need about 12 hours of sleep...thank God I took tomorrow off too.

I'm finally leaving for Las Vegas for some much needed R&R. In 6 hours I'll be there. Warm weather, sunshine and margeuritas. Life is good. See you next week.

I'm sitting here sipping the first cup of coffee of the day...the best one I might add, and read this little gem.

DRINKING coffee can substantially reduce the risk of developing diabetes, scientists have discovered. A major study involving more than 14,000 people in Finland, which has the highest rate of coffee consumption in the world, has revealed that those who drink most have the lowest incidence of adult-onset or type 2 diabetes. When people drank three to four cups of coffee a day, their risk of developing diabetes fell by 29 per cent for women and 27 per cent for men.

Now isn't that the best damn news I've read all year. I'm so glad I'm an addict.

Susan and I are meeting in Las Vegas Saturday morning. Yippee! I can't even begin to explain how bad I need to Get Away. I know this winter has been long, cold and bitter. It's been a tough struggle to keep any kind of positive outlook to life the last 2 months. Things are looking up.

I've decided to take a trip a month this year...maybe two come next winter. I hate to repeat past mistakes. Makes me feel like a fool and I gave the fools cap away.

Oh, and I seen my first robin finally yesterday. A damn fat thing too, must of been a good winter down south. South will definitely be on the list of travels this year. I haven't forgotten that damn fine margeurita in Houston. Funny how much sweeter Jose Cuervo is down south.

When I came home I had received a letter from someone who had gotten my name from another blogger, knowing I was a manager in the healthcare field. This person had recently taken a position as a manager and feeling all the aches, pains and self doubts that come with the job. Looking for a bit of advice, maybe a little direction. In answering the letter, I paused alot. It really made me take a deeper look at myself and what I do, and why I do it. By the time I finished the letter, I knew I wanted to post it here. That way I can go back and remember the whys of it all....when I'm in that place of fear, anxiety and self doubt.

The letter:

Hi,

Wow, quite a letter, and I know your frustration. First, let me tell you just a little about me. I'm currently a DON in a 160 bed skilled nursing facility in Detroit burbs. I've worked as a DON since 1986 in LTC, with a short two year stint as a consultant but hated the traveling and ended up being an interim DON anyway. I can say without any qualms this is the toughest job I've ever had. I really really would love to quit, but I hate to admit it, part of me likes the challenge.
The best piece of advice I can give you is: Yes you are a manager, you manage people....but, as a nurse, you are a caregiver first and foremost. It's not your job or my job to make employees happy. Our job is to deliver the highest quality of care in the most efficient way possible. Our patients are the ones that need to be happy. I'm very verbal about my expectations. There are no surprises, no second guessing, quality care is expected or there will be consequences. Do what you say you are going to do.

Any changes I make in systems or protocols for the employees - perceived as being positive or negative the first thing to consider is patient outcome. All changes must have a positive impact on my patients short term and long term or it's not beneficial. Staff feelings are secondary. Remember any change will promote negative responses from some. They get over it...and the ones that don't move on.

Being a manager is a very lonely job. Not only do I feel I can not trust my employees, but I really never trust my superiors either. Yes everyone is very kind, caring, considerate and respectful to your face, behind your back it's always different. Do not take it personal, it's not personal. It's human nature to point the finger at the bosses when there is anything about the job a person does not like. I am respectful and courteous to my employees, but I do not befriend them. It's impossible to be friends and be a good supervisor. Many in non-management positions will tell you that's not true of course. Don't listen. It's important that you are able to keep your objectivity and that's impossible with friends.

Always go out of your way to examine yourself for being fair and objective. Remember there are two sides to every story and never make a snap decision about disciplinary action without hearing all sides. Take a breather, go back and ask more questions.

People will bring you more issues then you can possibly imagine and expect you to be the solver of all. Again that objectivity needs to come into play and decide if it is an issue. Is it impacting patient care or have the potential to do so? If it is, it's your baby to deal with.

You mention one nurse having an attitude and having a come to Jesus talk. I usually ask upfront quickly if there is a problem so we can move on, I literally have no time for bullshit, so if there is an issue we need to deal with it quickly. If they say no, then meetings over. I don't baby or coddle. That person is an adult, they need to lay it on the table or move on. Sometimes it might come down to just a personality clash. It happens. Keep it respectful, courteous and professional. I don't have to personally like everyone and I really could care less who doesn't like me. I have a job to do.

You asked how to survive in an atmosphere of basically being alone so to speak. Only way I can answer that is....what I do, my job, it's not about me. It's not about what I want, if that makes any sense. I'm there to take care of 160 people to the best of my ability and to improve their quality of life. The day I feel I can't do that I will have to move on.

Sometimes all the staff crap can get so in the way of that main goal. That's when I start losing it...losing perspective, feeling dysfunctional, feeling inadequate and useless. Just step back, breathe, remember what it's really all about. After all this isn't working the counter at Mickey D's, peoples lifes can be on the line with screw ups in our field. You can't afford to lose perspective for long.

Some people aren't cut out to be supervisors, if you end up being one of them....so what? Nothing wrong with that. Everyone's tolerance level for bullshit is definitely different and being a manager you definitely deal with a lot of bullshit. Hell I wouldn't blame anyone for walking away, life is tough enough without adding to it. But then again, it's a tough job and somebody has to do it right?

I don't know if any of this helps you...but it did make me re-examine myself. I needed that...thanks. I hope to hear from you again....and good luck.

Dawn

So now you know.

In the last ten years my views on capital punishment has done an about face. I used to agree that the taking of any life was wrong. Then abortion was legalized. Killing babies became ok, even fought for by many Americans. Fine, kill your babies.

So as I grow older I see murder and violent crimes becoming more rampant, dishonor and disregard for human life is increasing rapidly. Apathy is the name of the game unless it's criticism or hatred. Scoff, call me a fool, laugh, I really don't care but times have changed, people have changed, the world has moved on. Not much for the better.

Every day I take care of people who has to rely on state or federal funding for their healthcare. I see budget cut after cut. Yet we pay higher taxes. I see only basic needs being met at a very basic level. Then I think of these soulless murderers sitting on deathrow zapping state and federal funds. Taking more manpower and funds to babysit them then someones Grandma or Grandpa laying in a nursing home or hospital, who was a productive member of society. Who worked hard their whole life doing the right thing. Who paid their taxes til it hurt barely getting by. But they love and loved.

Everyday I read about random shootings, drive by shootings, cops murdered for stopping someone for a traffic violation, child abuse...you get it, the rape of a society by soulless human monsters. Yes, I say kill the fuckers...and get a little quicker in getting it done. I hope that clarifies my views.

Sometimes the things I read in the paper just crack me up. So for this mornings laugh I read:

Since the beginning of the year, Detroit police said, there have been 62 homicides in the city: 35 in January, 24 in February, including the fatal shootings of Detroit Officers Jennifer Fettig and Matthew Bowens.

Sixty-two killings, in sixty-two days. But wait....now for the kicker:

The poll shows 56 percent supporting capital punishment for first-degree murder, and 34 percent opposed. But voters are evenly divided when given a choice between execution and locking up convicted killers for life without parole -- the current Michigan penalty for first-degree murder. The strongest support for capital punishment is in central Michigan, while it is most strongly opposed in the city of Detroit, according to the poll.

Detroit is the nations murder capital but it doesn't want capital punishment. Apparently we don't want the state to take over yet one more of our rights? Have I ever mentioned Detroit is fucked up?