Well I finally broke down and went to a "real" grocery store today. I think I've been living out of the gas station and CVS (the local drug store chain) for about 2 months. After all, they have coffee, milk, chocolate, toilet paper...what more does anyone really need?

Anyway a couple of weeks ago I decided maybe it was time to start "thinking" about eating just a little healthier...after all healthy eating is all but literally being shoved down our throats in the last couple of months. Bad carbs, bad fat, bad sugar. Well...that's my diet.

I hate going to the "real" grocery stores...just too many options and screaming crying children. The whole experience can leave a person scarred if they're not careful. First we have the fruit section. Yeah right, fruits are carbs right? Ok, this section will kill me. Although I grab bananas and 4 mix and match apples on the way through. Where do they hide that apple dip at nowadays anyway? I grab a bag of lettuce and wonder if I'll actually eat it this time or if it will turn black and runny like the last one. I think it's all those chemicals they put on it...maybe?

So I easily skip the pop, chip and beer aisle, not my thing. Breeze by the cookies and all the other good stuff. I get through the whole damn store and decide there is nothing safe. Lucky me, Lean Cuisines on on sale 40% off. I'm now the proud owner of 12 already prepared meals. I think it's cruel they put Lean Cuisines right across the aisle from Ben & Jerry's, what's up with that? Skinny ass manager joke?

Well I top off the cart with some ribeyes, t-bones, porkchops and hamburger. I'm not giving up my meat. Oh, I did make one other sacrifice, I gave up 2% milk for 1%. It was hard, but I did it. But the coffee creamer stays....I insist.

The cashier rings up the total $169, no junk food, no chocolate. As I'm wheeling out the door I hear this little voice say "Wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?" Shit.

Ok, so I got the shortbread cookies and the peanut butter ones. I'm hopeless.

As I was driving home just a short bit ago the sun set. The roads were fairly clear and fast moving. Warm enough for the window to be part way down. The sky was clear, the blue colors crisp, the pinks, oranges and violet hues vivid. George Harrison's live version of "My Guitar Gently Weeps" with Clapton on guitar came on the radio. Clear cool air, nature in all its splendor, phenomenal music that touches the soul. Lifes small little orgasms. I feel good, happy and lucky to have such a moment. Doesn't it feel good when we take the time to enjoy the small things life has to offer?

I think Iran had the right idea. After all, what can it hurt? Make sure you check out the poll results on American views of public execution.

I like this one better and I seem much more stable.

Take a test. So I did. Once again I have to give Grey Biker a curtsey for finding this site. I think I've might of done something from this site before, but I know this test is new to me.

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

I think I'm a helpful horney scientist who is calmly detached. Huh?

Well I woke up way too early this morning for whatever reason. I love those early morning arguments I have with myself in my head "you are tired, go back to bed!". "No I'm not, I'm wide awake." "Are not, go make coffee." "Make it yourself, I'm going back to sleep." "Liar." "Fine then. Just fine."

So, since I pissed myself off, I went and made coffee. I hope to hell I'm happy now. But about 4 this afternoon, we'll see which one was right. Heh.

Some of my Hugoists are very entertaining I have to admit. Thought I would share a recent comment:

There are a lot of freaks in ths world, and about 90 percent of them post on this site. This is a forum to discuss and offer opinions about Selenski, not Religion. FREAKS!

I bet you wish you had 90% of the freaks in this world posting on your site. Hah. Apparently I have a self appointed bouncer now. Lucky me, apparently I haven't been doing my job.

Wait! Susan? Excuse me, but aren't you the complaint department? Shape up!

What happens to those rejected singers on American Idol?

Well if you are William Hung and cute as hell, you get a lot of attention. Check out William Hung. I seen his performance, it really did suck, but dang he was so cute doing it.

Out of sheer boredom the other day I did a Google search for "altered perceptions", and I was happy to notice my site came up number two in over 10,000 hits. I noticed some cool sites named Altered Perceptions and stuck them in my favorites thinking this would make an interesting post.

Well this mornings search shows I'm number one, now why things vary on Google is beyond me. Especially on the first cup of coffee...which translates, I could care less it's too deep for me.

Some of the interesting things I've found:

A definition of altered perceptions in relation to cyberspace:

Sitting quietly and staring at the computer monitor can become an altered state of consciousness. While reading e-mail or text talk in chat rooms, some people experience a blending of their mind with that of the other person. In the imaginary multimedia worlds - where people shape-shift, speak via ESP, walk through walls, and spontaneously generate objects out of thin air - the experience becomes surrealistic. It mimics a state of consciousness that resembles dreams. These altered and dream-like states of consciousness in cyberspace may account for why it is so attractive for some people. It might help explain some forms of computer and cyberspace addiction.

Maybe that's why so many people will refer to things they say or see online as "not really real" "not the real world". They can tell they are in an altered state? Maybe an hypnotic effect?

Another cool site I found Altered Perceptions -Special Effects Make-up and Puppetry. Much of their site seems to be "Under Construction", but I'll definitely keep checking back.

One interesting thing of note, is a published article by Dorothy Womack, Alzheimers: Altered Perceptions. With my memory, I'm not going to touch this one, but it is an interesting read.

Then there is Chern's Altered Perception a website of a 20 year old computer engineer in California. His site looks great too. He's definitely got some cool quotes.

Last but not least, the story Altered Perceptions by Blackbird which could be porn, I don't know. It's way too early in the morning for me to check it out.

I found this test over at Lexxiblog, go ahead and give it a go.

Even though I currently reside in Michigan, I'm an Iowan through and through. I've always maintained Iowa is part Dixie and part Yankee, because actually, we just don't give a shit what y'all do. Crazy ass redneck bastards in the south and those sissified uppity northern and eastern city people just think their shit don't stink. California? Puhleeze, those people belong out there.

Anyway I'm:

52% (Dixie). Barely into the Dixie category.

And that's right.

From the Detroit News :

Fifty days into the new year, the city is reeling over a spate of violence that has left 51 dead — four of them gunned down in the last week.

Apparently a few are pissed off about being the fattest city in America. I guess holding the highest homicide rate has a little more esteem to it. Think maybe someone should do a study correlating fat with aggressive behavior? I wonder what percentage of murderers are overweight when they are caught? I wonder if the people being killed are skinny? Has there ever been a vegetarian killer? I wonder if they prefer Whoppers over Big Macs? Taco Bell? I mean curious minds really want to know.

Just think, it's warm out today for Detroit. All kinds of assholes will be crawling out from under their rocks today. Sad isn't?

Wow, 42 degrees today, the sun actually visited Michigan and I went outside without my coat. Remind me of this next September when I'm bitching it's only 50 degrees outside, k?

That's right, I got my taxes done. The IRS did it again. I feel used and abused.

Well yesterday was back to work day after not being there for a week...arggh. Isn't it funny how Tuesdays can be Mondays? What's with that? Why do employees have to go nuts while the boss is away? Can anybody answer those questions?

My site meter went through the roof (my roof) since Cruel linked me. I ended up with like 1300 hits the first day, around 700 yesterday. Amazing. Wouldn't that be wonderful if I absolutely had something of value here to keep them coming back. But on a brighter note I do have that #2 spot on Google for General Bullshit search. Yes, I remain proud of that.

I'm planning a trip to Vegas next month with Susan. We've been talking about it for 2 months, now I'm starting to get excited. "I want out of here" in a loud singing voice.

A friend has been asking me for help in setting up a blog. Heh. I keep trying to explain just because I have one doesn't mean I know anything about it. Like driving my car....I put gas in and it goes. I didn't build the damn thing, scarey things are under the hood, there are some places it's just not safe to venture. Templates is one of those places.

I woke up to a letter from Greg at Death's Door this morning. It seems I've been linked to the Cruel Site of the Day because of the Hugoists. Yes they still haunt my site.

By the Hugoists, I mean the victim's families, Hugo's family, curiosity seekers, reporters and just plain sick asses. I'm sure by now the DA's office and Hugo's attorney's staff monitor it. Things have been said I'm sure shouldn't of been said. Yes there are over 500 comments. Some I've deleted that were just down right cruel. I don't understand people, never will.

Again, a word of advice that I seem to keep forgetting. Becareful what you post.

I seen the The Grey Biker do this over at In High Cotton and figured I could steal do this. Curtsey Mr. Biker. So because I was bored, here they are:

1. WHAT TIME DID YOU GO TO BED LAST NIGHT?

At 2am, and my bed felt soooo good.

2. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF WHAT WOULD IT BE?

I think I would like to take away the fear of trying new things, new ideas, new places, new people. I want life to be more of an adventure and not always having to worry about negative consequences.

3. PAPER OR PLASTIC?

Paper, just leave my trees alone. I'm such a hypocrite.

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK/MAGAZINE YOU READ?

"To The Nines" by Janet Evanovich, and I'm currently reading "Wolves of the Calla" by the Master, but not mine, Stephen King. I bought Oprah's magazine at the airport, just because I wasn't aware she even had one. It sucked.

5. A TV SHOW YOU CAN’T STAND TO WATCH?

Jerry Springer.

6. WHAT DID YOU EAT FOR LUNCH TODAY?

I skipped it in favor of a nap. Although I did eat birthday cake in my dream, it was damn good too.

7. DO YOU LIKE TO BE SURPRISED?

Hell yes, but they have to be good surprises.

8. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR TOOTHBRUSH?

Blue and white.

9. WHAT BRAND OF DEODORANT DO YOU WEAR?

Caribbean Cool by Lady Speed Stick. I had to go look...sad huh?

10. YOUR FAVORITE STORE TO SHOP?

Zales.

11. WINTER, SPRING, SUMMER OR FALL?

Fall. I love October. I think it goes back to being a kid. Football games, bonfires, hayrack rides. I love those clear crisp nights with the stars shining and the full moon coming up.

12. FAVORITE DESSERT?

Damn, this is too tough. I rarely get desserts in restaurants because I never can make up my mind. It's just too stressful with all of those choices.

13. WHICH ONE WOULD YOU PREFER - MAID OR PERSONAL CHEF?

A houseboy that cooks. I guess that wasn't the question.

14. FAVORITE CANDY?

Again hard choice. Chocolate. I never eat candy unless it's chocolate.

15. REGULAR OR DECAF?

Folgers Columbian. Decaf? What's the point?

16. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?

Foul, this is a tough question. Before coming to Detroit I would of said a steakhouse any day. Steaks aren't the best here but damn Detroit does know how to do ribs.

17. CHARACTERISTICS YOU MOST ADMIRE?

Honesty. Bone chilling, blunt, no frills honesty. I admire that.

18. FAVORITE HOLIDAY?

I used to like them all when I was in Iowa. I loved to have cookouts and get togethers. Actually I dread them all now with my family being there and I'm here.

19. FAVORITE TIME OF DAY?

6am, the first cup of coffee, the world is quiet and none of lifes little entertainments have started yet.

20. FRUIT OR FRUIT SMOOTHIE?

That smoothie has ice cream right?

21. HOW MANY RINGS ARE YOU WEARING?

Three.

22. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR MEAT PREPARED?

Depends what kind of course. Steak...medium well.

23. WHAT WAS THE LAST CARD YOU SENT SOMEONE?

I mailed off a late Valentines to a friend today.

24. WHAT RADIO STATION IS ON WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW?

None, but if I were it would be a rock n roll classic station.

25. ONION RINGS OR FRENCH FRIES?

French Fries...the big thick kind with lots of ketchup.

26. DO YOU LIKE TO PLAY CARDS OR BOARD GAMES?

Cards...always. Love them.

27. NAILS POLISHED OR UNPOLISHED?

Polished of course. Autobahn Perle at the moment, figure that color out.

28. DO YOU LIKE NUTS ON YOUR SUNDAES?

Well yes. Black walnut ice cream is my favorite.

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SODA?

Pepsi. Actually RC is better but I can't find it here.

30. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH ON TV?

Don't do that...I have nails to polish.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day and spending it as they wish.

I made it back from Houston about 1am this morning. Dang long week. Very non-productive. I'm just very glad it was their money wasted and not mine.

It feels so good to be back on the regular old PC rather than the laptop, that thing is so annoying.

Anyway, I'm glad to be home to my own bed and my own little world.

Well a rainy view anyway. Since I have some time to kill on my hands this morning I decided to play with the picture phone. I found out awhile ago how to take a picture but what to do, what to do from there. I am woman hear me roar I figured it out. Well sorta, thanks to the help of my 6th cup of coffee. My boss rang my room awhile ago and asked if I wanted to go down to the exercise room. Heh. That's one of those things you have to mentally prepare for. Umm...maybe next year.

I was rudely and wonderfully awakened at 6:45am this morning when room service delivered breakfast an hour early. There is something about being woke up by someone that delivers a tray of coffee and food that can make life seem just a little better. It was a Mother's Day long ago since I've had that happen. I think I could live in this hotel. It was probably the most expensive eggs, toast and coffee I've ever had but somethings are worth the price, right?

Damn I can't wait until tomorrow morning.

Well I made it to Houston. I left the house at 10:45am and arrived at the hotel here at 7pm. Eight Detroit time. Long damn day. The airport security was at a minimum, surprised the hell out of me. Abandoned cars parked at the curb, no police or military in site in Detroit or Houston. Far different from Christmas traveling.

It has rained steadily here, so it's very humid. I have summer hair again....arrrgghhh! You can tell the natives from the Michiganders, Texans are wearing coats. We've stripped down, literally.

Twelve of us went for supper in a van that holds eight to a place called The Red Onion. A Mexican restaurant. The "Lovely Rita" margeurita was a 12 on a scale from 1-10. I feel fine. Who would of known Rita's magical skills on back problems. Now I know.

The company has postponed meetings tomorrow until 1pm due to travel difficulties. Not weather related, actually I'm not sure what is going on. We sat at Detroit airport for quite awhile before taking off, where we had a lay over, and several other planes were actually diverted from Chicago to other areas. Chicagos weather was cloudy, but no snow. No explanation is being given, just long times in the air. Bush in Chicago today or something?

Blame the laptop for the typos, I haven't used it since the Alabama trip...and it seems so strange. I definitely will not blame the margeuritas.

The Detroit News has decided to jump on the blogging carousel with political bloggers. After all we can't have enough of them, right? Looks like they have about ten of them so far.

Not only that, they are asking for bloggers. So if you're leaning towards political commentary this might make you a star. Now if anyone finds a calling for general bullshitters I hope they pass my name along.

I was looking at my referral list today and happened to see Uffish Thoughts there. Now this blog is new to me, but I am so damn glad I found it, even though my eyeliner and mascara has been totally ruined from tears of laughter.

I received a comment on my post about Child Abduction that just proves my point "some people just don't get it".

The comment:

The poor girl......listen, it does not matter if she was 11 and wore makeup. The guy had NO right to take her. I dont know why she didnt pull away. He could have threatened her, told her her parents were in an accident, he did have a mechanics outfit on, or maybe fear took over. He has tried to take someone in the past. He tried to pull a woman over a guard rail, but she put her foot up and screamed and a passing van picked her up. He was found hiding in the woods with camouflauge on his face and he said that he was just helping her so she wouldnt get hit by a car. He went to trial on this, but he was aquitted. I mean, you might be mad, but you cant say that its Carlie's fault in anyway. It's not about makeup here......its about her life being ripped from her and her family having to live without their daughter.

No, I do not blame Carlie, she was an innocent child, besides she was only acting on what she has been taught and allowed to do. What scares me is that parents or people who are going to be parents sees nothing wrong with a 11 year old going to the mall to hang with kids. Wearing makeup. Walking down a street alone.

Yes, that pisses me off at what the hell people are teaching their children. Sure it was ok she wears makeup, God knows we need to tell our children young that they have to have the war paint on their face to be beautiful. Sure it's ok to go hang at the mall all day, after all the shop owners don't mind watching a bunch of kids while Mom and Pop is home in front of the damn TV. I'm sure these children are productive members of society and a have a paycheck to spend. God forbid we all know 11 year olds are responsible citizens and know enough about life to make correct choices, if they don't they can learn about life hanging at the mall with their friends. Obviously whoever you are you agree with this last paragraph and need to buy a fucking clue.

We all want to live in our little happy worlds and pretend bad shit won't happen to our children. After all it always happens to someone else right? Sure I would of liked to kept my children thinking life will always be so wonderful, that no one, a stranger or a spouse will never get in their space, ever. I didn't, I told my children someday someone probably will try and to be ready.

My daughter would of loved to hear she was the most beautiful girl in the world when she wore makeup. I didn't, I told my daughter she was beautiful inside and out and makeup didn't mean shit. It's what inside a person that matters. It's how you act that makes you beautiful or not. It's how you treat others. Something Joseph Smiths parents obviously forgot to pass on.

My kids would of peed their pants in excitement if I told anyone of them at 11 that I was dropping them off at the mall for a few hours, without supervision. I didn't. My children were my responsibility 24/7. I took the job seriously.

Well enough of this, but my post was just a comment on what parents are teaching their children if anything beyond video games and school sports. Fluff things. Because life is far from being about fluff and I'm seeing too many adults in their 20's and 30's right now that are so very unhappy and unable to deal with life because it's not fluff that keeps hitting them in the face with every turn...and wondering "why me?" Guess what, it's called life.

Nothing like a good rant from a self proclaimed expert to make me smile. Thank God for dipshits, they do put humor in my day and remind me to lighten up. Personally I feel I'm an arrogant pretentious twat, but I readily admit to practicing daily to maintain this status. Some things a person just aren't born with.

Curtsey to the The Blog Herald for making me smile this morning.

I was talking online to a friend earlier this morning, and as I'm whining about being awake, needing more coffee, having to go to work, having to go to Houston, eating to much pizza yesterday, not having anything to blog about. He says "blog about pizza". Huh?

So I'm thinking I guess I can do this. I mean pizza definitely isn't what it used to be 25 years ago. Back when they used real hamburger and made their own bread dough. Anybody remember those days? Remember when "fake pizza" was the Tombstone pizza you bought in the bar after you realized maybe you had just one too many pitchers of beer and needed to "sober up"? A fake Tombstone would sober anybody up.

In the Italian neighborhood I grew up in, pizza was made on the biggest cookie sheet you had. Usually on homemade bread day. Back when bread dough was actually kneaded by hand after it came out of the bowl, not the freezer or a box. The meat was cooked fresh and the cheese was grated on the spot. Mozzarella cheese was sometimes used, more often than not it was parmesan or romano. The pizza sauce was homemade. Pizza used to be a luxury meal, like everything else I guess it's become modernized. Just what are those little bullet things on pizza that they call meat at Pizza Hut? Ever notice how you can't tell the difference between the hamburger and sausage anymore? What's up with that?

I've been seeing this little thang all over the blog world lately, so I thought why not. Well in 7 days I can color in Texas, I wish I could show even a little thrill about this. I'm hope, hope, hoping I get to see more than the ride from the airport to the hotel.

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

I can't imagine how I'll ever get North Dakota and Wisconsin colored in.

The first story I read this morning clicking on the news and scrolling past all the political shit was this story of another child abduction. Child abductions are continuously in the news, but how often do we ever hear that the kipnapper was caught? Rarely.

This child and abductor happened to be caught on video tape, he is holding her arm and both are walking away. Something is very wrong here. Why isn't that child kicking, screaming, dragging her ass on that pavement and fighting with everything she's got?

Then I read down farther and see this 11 year old "child's" picture. Yes the one with the full war paint of lipstick and eye make up. On a fucking a 11 year old? Then farther down in the article it says she's a very responsible girl who loves to go the mall and hang out with friends. She's eleven for Christ sake she should be playing in her own damn back yard, not under the care of the local retailers.

I've posted before about my attempted abduction as a child that was thwarted by my mother. After that it was drilled in my head and subsequently my childrens that if anyone touches, grabs or threatens in anyway "it's ok for all hell to break loose". Kick, scream, punch, bite, run, but definitely turn up the volume no matter what that stranger might be saying. Yes we had safe words. Yes we practiced and had "the talk" at least once a year. No, they didn't turn out to be agoraphobes or have bad dreams of people getting them.

Even if my daughter declared back then I was ruining her life by not letting her wear make up until she was 16....she got over it. Far as I'm concerned those parents need their ass kicked. Parenting is so damn easy if you let them do what they want and ship their asses off to the mall.

I'm sure there are people out there that just "don't get it" and never will. I'm not sure if it scares me or pisses me off more.

I was shocked along with the rest of the world this morning to discover... when I woke... and heard the news that Janet Jackson has a boob. No, no...not her brother, but a "real" boob. Well at least it looked like one. Might even look like her brothers...wouldn't surprise me none.

There are benefits to being in a drug induced haze. I should of held out one more day.

Well I'm please to announce that everything that has been ailing me is slowly improving...and that's a damn good thing. I've sorely been neglecting this blog, not that I've lost interest, but this will sound stupid, but I've been trying not to have to think. Pain has a way of narrowing a persons perspective on everything. When pain is front and center, it's hard to give a damn what is going on in the world or with those around you. So I've been reading alot, watching way too much TV, movies, etc. Speaking of which, I'm really liking this "On Demand" thing. Also thanks to the drugs, I've been sleeping alot.

Anyway, I can't even say I had any intentions of posting today, but then I read Andrew's blog entry over at ...An Error Occurred about how he has 72 days of posting and 300 entries. So I told him I had 696 entries....his response "You need to get out more girl". Hmmm. Fine then.

Anybody want to go out?