As I'm flying down 696 yesterday morning on my way to work my daughter calls me. She says "I lost your address again, can you give it to me." Being the wonderful mother that I am and knowing my children, I immediately ask "Why?"
She says "Well, the Army recruiter needs it." She didn't appreciate my yelling "WHY?" back at her. She's heard that tone before and I'm sure would of loved to end the conversation right at that point. She hems and haws a bit then rapidly starts talking without breathing "Well Jess (my 17 year old) wants to go in the Army for 2 years before he goes to college and then they will pay for it and they are going to give him a bunch of money and you won't have to worry about it, besides they are testing him today and he goes for his physical next week and I tried to talk him out of this but you know how he is and he's not listening to me. So the Army guy wants your address because I told him it would be better that way rather than to call you." I hear her taking a deep breath.
Well fuck. I'm speechless.
Then she goes on to say "Well the Army guy keeps telling him about all this money and stuff they are going to give him."
At this point all I can say is "Yeah, sunscreen and a used gun." Then I'm on a roll.."What the fuck is he thinking? Tell him that guy is nothing more than a used car salesman and the Army is not going to give him shit for Christs sake!"

So anyway, I quit taking it out on my daughter and told her I'd call him when I cooled down...well that hasn't happened yet. At this rate Christmas could come and go.

I have no clue at this point what to say to this kid. He has a 4.0 GPA and more (I thought) intelligence than anyone in our family has ever had.

I remember the Army recruiter that was dancing with my daughter when she was in high school and all the bogus shit they were laying on her. I'm sure it's illegal to bitchslap an Army recruiter....but still. Anyway...my daughter does know me, it wouldn't be wise for him to call me.

LittleA asked in my comments from this morning's post "What next?" Hell if I know. I hate what healthcare has become. I've either been a director of nursing or consulted as a director of nursing for almost 18 years now. I can't believe how fast it's gone.

I read an article in the last month sometime in some periodical I receive at work that the average length of stay for a DON is 11 months in extended care facilities. They can't take the stress. Hell I can't take the stress.

Something started changing about 10 years ago...switching from quality care to the almighty dollar. Things have been declining steadily since.

So what I'm going to do, I don't know. I can go back to consulting, at least I don't have to stay in one place too long. Clean it up and move out. But I hated living out of airports and hotels. I hear through the grapevine about every 3 months my old boss would like to have me back. I always was a little resentful that she billed me out at $75 an hour, I worked 60...salaried at 40 hours a week. Oh well. Need to negotiate better I guess. I learned off that one.

When a door closes another one opens up...I just hope it's a little less bullshit behind the next door.

...how I could be #7 on Google hits when you do a search for "metrosexual" and "fellatio". So...I have no clue what metrosexual is...ok? Uhh...sex in the city? Now I have to wonder when the hell did I ever post anything about fellatio? I'll have to search this one out.

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts

There is something about this quote that reminds me of how you have to be when dealing with the corporate yahoos. I know absolutely nothing about running a business...but yet somethings are just common sense right?

I don't have time now for posting the 25,000 word essay going through my brain about my company. It's a good one too. I've been just a little too busy up to my ass wading through the bullshit to get it all down on paper.

One thing I have noticed through the years, as you are wading through bullshit, your legs get stronger from the resistant exercise making it easier to jog through the open door without it hitting you in the ass on the way out.

The day my bonus check arrives in the mail is the day my 30 day notice goes in. We all have to have goals in life. Februay or March, damn I wish I could remember when that thing comes. I think I have more budget cuts coming in January....arghhh. I can not lose one more person.

I. Must. Hold. Out. For. Bonus. Check.

Well here's another ghostly tale from Iowa...of Kate Morgan and San Diego's Hotel del Coronado. If I keep reading this stuff I'll be sleeping with the lights on again.

The tale.

Now for some present time scarey shit:

For years, Dan Holman has protested outside Iowa abortion clinics, handing out pamphlets with graphic pictures, videotaping doctors and patients, and occasionally scuffling with patrons.

Then came the September execution of Paul Hill for the 1994 shotgun murders of an abortion doctor and his bodyguard. Holman stood with a group of Hill supporters outside the prison in Gainesville, Fla., and spoke admiringly of him in interviews with newspapers.

"Some day, I hope I will have the courage to be as much a man as he was," he told The New York Times. "I haven't killed anyone yet, but I believe they deserve to die," he told the Orlando Sentinel.

Since the courts have put Terri Schiavo on the "No Quality of Life List and Must Die"......why not this guy? Why don't we continue to define what is not useful to society? Or maybe the other way of thinking: He is just too inconvenient to deal with right now. Convoluted thinking? Really?

The rest of the story.

I wish I had a buck for every time a presidential candidate went through Iowa and used this line of bullshit.

Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards told a Council Bluffs audience Monday he values hard-working American families. Does President Bush? "He values money and wealth," Edwards said. "He wants to make sure those who have money and wealth keep it and that they're in a protected club. I want to see more opportunities for more people."

These asswipes really need a new line.

Read the rest of the crap.

Well if you want. I stopped after that line of BS.

This supposedly took place not far from where I lived in Iowa:

In 1928, an exorcism was performed in a convent just north of the peaceful hamlet of Earling. It was one of the last exorcisms officially sanctioned by the Catholic Church. The case was reported in several famous pieces of literature. One is a 48-page booklet called "Begone Satan" by the Rev. Carl Vogl, a witness to the event. The second is a book, "The Devil Rocked Her Cradle," by David St. Clair. The third is a novel inspired at least partly by this exorcism and one other in Washington, D.C. The book is called "The Exorcist" by William Peter Blatty and it inspired a film of the same title, which is considered to be one of the most frightening horror films ever made.

Read the rest of the article.

I hope the Daily Nonpareil will proceed to tell some of the many stories the old timers remember of this time. This is the first time I've ever seen anything about it in print. It's only been word of mouth through the hills of Iowa until now.

I've never searched out any of those books...it still gives me goosebumps to write about it now.

...well Acidman is gone and Velociman has the keys to the Crackerbox. Shits gonna hit the fan again. Literally.

There's that phrase singing in my head again "Send lawyers, guns and money."

Messygurl says she's a little ashamed to be excited about "24" being on tonight. Not me...I couldn't wait to get out of that get together to get home and get ready to park my ass in front of Kiefer.

Oh yeah...I love that guy. I'm not a TV person...but "24" is worth it.

I just got home from a management "get together" at Bahama Breeze....and with a couple of Miller Lites in me it was tolerable. These things are always so odd. I like to watch these people out of the work environment and with a couple of drinks in them. Total personality change takes place.

I learned a few things: my staff developer is a shopaholic, the maintenance man likes to drink beer out of shot glass...don't ask, I don't get it either. One of my unit managers wishes she was 21 again so she could have sex "with alot of people". Alrighty then. The dietician smokes and drinks outside of work. Heh. One of the other unit managers won't eat anything green....just because it's green. My MDS coordinator weighs 115# and thinks she's fat because her husband told her she was. My newly wed assistant's husband is buying porn on cable when she's not home.

I really could of gone the rest of my life without knowing any of this. See what great things you learn when you are a powerful listener in a social scene. I can't wait til the Christmas party.

I shamelessly took this from the Detroit Free Press about last nights Democrat's Presidential debate. Again...a picture says a thousand words:

Kelley's new Cul-De-Sac is out.

All new format that I love in alphabetical order and a short synopsis of what the blog and blogger is about. She definitely introduced me to some "new to me" bloggers.

Check it out. I am.

When I read this post on S-Train Canvass I had to chuckle and even cringe a little. The chuckling part is the white female standard of beauty that probably 1 in 10 women can live up to...no matter what color you are.

The cringing part had to do with the memories and the scars on my own head from ironing my hair. I too was cursed..yes cursed with curly and frizzy hair. It used to be red...but I've cured that part.

Most of my life I've worn my hair long..at least below my shoulders because the added wait straightens it out...well some. I've used relaxers...combed permanent solution in my hair. Oiled, greased, sprayed. Went through using large electric curlers (even orange juice cans) to get rid of the frizzies before using a heated straightener. If it's out there I've tried it. I probably have $500 worth of hair products in my bathroom cupboard. None of them work. Damn I'm sick of all that.

About two months ago I decided after all these years I was going to cut my hair and "let it go". So I cut it above my shoulders, washed, added a little oil, a little gel and out the door I'd go. As long as I didn't look in the mirror the rest of the day...I survived it.

This morning I looked in the mirror and Lord if that mess just isn't hideous. I look in the mirror and see this curly, wavy, frizzy mess and I hate it, I hate myself. So I straightened it today. Again. At least I can look in the mirror again. Well almost, I have a zit on my left cheek. What the hell is the deal with that?

You know it really is a bitch being a woman. Nothing is ever right, you have to curl, iron, color with something here, paint something there, shave something here, wax, exfolliate, don't forget to pluck, whiten and for Christ sake now we have to use those damn nose strips. Oh yeah..winter is coming so don't forget to moisturize.

I swear to God if I make it to 70, I'm not doing none of this shit no more...I'm just going to let it all go and be a gross hairy old lady. Ok...maybe 75.

I have to have this for Christmas!

When I read about this in the Detroit News this morning, I was so excited I could of peed my pants. Could of..ok?

Just the headline alone was enough to make me sit up and take notice:

Gadget may wreak traffic havoc.

Three of my favorite words in the same sentence: Gadget. Wreak. Havoc.

Let me tell you I was hooked. Then the next line: Oh Dear God YES!

In-car device lets drivers change stoplights

At that point I lost about 15 minutes of time as I traveled the streets of Detroit in my mind wreaking havoc with a gadget and never stopping at a red light again. I imagined what a goddess must feel like with all that power held in her hand.

I gotta, gotta, gotta get me one of those.

...uhh, I just realized Acidman's question #2 had to do with breast implants and not... Oh nevermind. I answered those questions at 4am, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

I thought it was weird that he asked...but it was Acidman, I could see him asking.

Don't. I. Feel. Stupid.

Unfortunately for me I found Pogo High Stakes Poker. For Free. Nothing like an internet game to bring your intellectual status down to protozoa level. Which put me right into a great nap mode.

So now here I am, bored shitless. I guess I'll do something just a little more stimulating... like watch Skinemax the Discovery Channel.

If you've never went cruising on Space.com you should, it's really quite fascinating.

Make sure you check out Space News, there is really some amazing stuff there.

I have a headache, so I must be getting attacked by magnetic material. Yeah, that's gotta be it.

Satellites, pagers, cell phones, and electrical grids could be affected Friday by a moderately powerful ejection of magnetic material from the sun.

Space weather forecasters say the coronal mass ejection, or CME, was detected Wednesday morning at 3 a.m. EDT. It is expected to reach Earth about 3 p.m. EDT Friday, and its effects could last 12 to 18 hours.

Read all about it.

I'm sure it's terrorism and Bush knew all about it. Wonder if we should be wearing sunscreen?

Scientists say it could produce spectacular displays of northern lights. I've only seen the northern lights once in my life. It was at least 10 years ago when I lived in Iowa. The sky was clear and there was a ton of snow on the ground. About 10 or 11 that night I walked through the living room which had a large picture window that looks out over a valley of woods and cornfields. As I glanced out I noticed the field was very pink.

I remember stopping in the middle of the room and just staring. Pink snow was not registering in my mind. Finally I walked to the window and noticed what looked like pink in the sky too. At that point I called my son up from the basement family room. Thank God he confirmed the pink snow and sky. Sometimes you just have to have verification of reality.

When I finally realized what it was I woke my husband up and my other two children. For all of us so far it's been a once in a lifetime event. It lasted about an hour...and we watched it the whole time. Amazing.

Acidman interview questions for the masses:

1) Does anybody really see a correlation between the size of a man's feet or his nose and the size of his penis?

I've actually done a scientific investigation on this over the years. Being a nurse and all I've had ample or not so ample opportunity to study penises and to do amazing wicked things to them. All for advancement of science and medicine of course. Anyway..my results show there is a definite correlation between the size of the man's hands and his penis.

2) If you are a woman, would you ever get a tit-job? If so, why?

This must be a rare thing for southerners. I can't believe he asked.

3) If you are a man, would you buy a bionic Roscoe if your dick quit working? If so, why?

I have a vibrator..need I say more.

4) Did you ever sleep with someone and wake up in the morning unable to remember their name? If not, WHY NOT?

Unfortunately I always remembered their name. Still do.

5) Which would you rather have for a pet? A DOG or a CAT? If you answer "cat," you've got some serious explaining to do.

I'd rather have a 29 year old houseboy, but since that is not an option..a dog I guess.

6) Do you eat grits for breakfast?

No, I don't eat breakfast. I eat them for supper. Instant of course. I'm a yankee.

7) What is the most dumb-ass thing you ever did in your life? Was it fun or has it haunted you for years?

I got married. I'll leave it at that.

8) Do you exceed the speed limit regularly when you drive, or just do it occasionally? Don't tell me that you NEVER SPEED you lying shit! Tell the truth!

I exceed the speed limit every chance I get, I also run red lights and stop signs. I deserved every ticket I've ever received and ever will receive. Somethings are just worth the price. I read in a story once that there are two kinds of people in the world..the ones that only check the rearview mirror and the ones that look over their shoulder. I've always done both. I have arthritis in my neck now.

9) Describe the happiest day you can remember living.

I remember one day about 10 years ago when my 3 kids and myself went mushroom hunting (the kind you cook and eat) in Iowa. It was a beautiful day, the weather was perfect. We hiked in the woods for hours. Went home cooked steaks and mushrooms, joked, laughed, ate. A perfect day in all ways. I should say the birth of my children..which each one was very monumental and joyous. But it's that day in the woods that brings me peace. I don't know why that day...because we did this alot. Maybe I didn't bring home any ticks that day. Who knows.

10) Do you believe that some things are worth dying for? If so, name one thing worth dying for and tell me why you feel so strongly about it.

My children, if someone were to harm them, God help that person.

Well that was fun, I guess I should get ready for work now.

Looks like Santa better be bringing a PDA for the kiddies this year.

I wonder when it will begin being listed on the old school supplies list? I actually was thinking about getting my son one for Christmas anyway. He takes after me somebody being the gadget geek that he is. Hell, maybe that's what I'll get all 3 of my kids and call it done. Of course I'll preprogram it with my birthday and mother's day first. Heh.

I'm going to have to go cruising around Tony's site to see what's the best one to buy.

It seems there is a bit of a shortage for our troops overseas for body armor. Personally I think Bush's overseas trip should of been postponed and the money obviously utilized for saving lifes.

But then again, what the hell do I know about priorities.

I'm unsure of what to think of this story.

I obviously live in a cave and didn't know this was taking place. I do know one thing.... I'd want the 40 acres and the mule. But that's just me.

I'm all for reparation. Just don't take it out of my money, none of my family was here before 1900. Take it from those southern rednecks.

News Alert:

Walmart currently has 250 openings. Apply at your nearest Walmart location.

I received a request from someone who dropped by my site. He's been searching for the lyrics from Mason Proffit's "Eugene Pratt". If anyone knows of some obscure site that might have it let me know. It's off the album "Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream".

I could sing it to him...but he probably wouldn't like that.

I was born and raised on the Oklahoma plains. I tried to keep my shoes shined, tried to keep a good name. But way over town, lived a boy named Eugene Pratt. We weren't allowed to talk to him , say "hi" and that was that. That's just the way it was. That's just the way it is.

...or something damn close to that, it's been about 20 years since I've heard it.

Instapundit posted an update about the soldiers on hold at Fort Stewart.

I've been waiting to hear more about this. It looks like the Army has finally decided to send in the Army to help them out. Bout damn time.

From the The Detroit News:

Rising unemployment and a steep drop in good-paying manufacturing jobs are taking a wider toll on Michigan residents -- including a 50 percent explosion in the number of people collecting government food assistance.

Today, about one in 11 Michigan residents relies on government help to keep food on the table. That's a seven-year high. With Michigan's economic outlook still shaky, and with unemployment expected to remain near 7 percent next year, the number of recipients is likely to continue to increase.

This is scarey.

When I first moved to Michigan in '99 the unemployment rate was at an all time low. Fast food restaurants would have their lobbies closed and only the drive-thrus open because of lack of help. Most health care facilities were using agency help, you could advertise all you wanted...and no one would apply.

Times have definitely changed here rapidly.

My employees have been begging me for overtime. My boss is putting the hammer to me to get rid of it. The attendance problem has completely disappeared. I know many of my employees are working two jobs now since the overtime has decreased. They will ask to leave 15 minutes early, or come in 30 minutes late to allow for travel time between jobs. Some of the other employees will bitch that this makes the changing shift time difficult...and it does. Sometimes people who are doing the best they can need a little help.

Today was a bitch...so I'm bitching. I fired the human pig that witnesses say abused a woman. Of course she denied it. Of course it's going down the union grievance trail. Of course I have to report this to the state so they can come in and give me an abuse tag. Of course I have to write a plan of correction on how I am going to prevent this from happening again. Of course I can, I am a Goddess. Of course this makes perfect sense because we are talking about government bullshit. Of course we know how rational the government is.

Then at 6pm I have a fucking crackhead - I'm serious here - flies into my office talking 5000 words per minute about how fucked up this place is and Dad's care is always getting delayed. He goes on and on about how he has 8 employees and he knows how hard it is to get people to work. (He just got out of prison last month and applied for a job in housekeeping at our facility last week.) So he's really topping the bullshit meter out, anyway then he starts ranting how the director and the administrator are never there, they only came in last week when the state was in the building and nobody has seen them since.

I tried to tell him I was the director and pointed at a nurses station where the administrator was, so he could see we were definitely here. He didn't shut up long enough to hear me and goes on to say that he didn't want them anyway he was told to find Dawn because she was the one to get things handled so fuck the director and the administrator anyway. Alrighty then.

So he proceeds to tell me he is going to call the state and report that the director and administrator "better known as the head honchos" are never there. He's ranting and raving so I decide at this point I'm going to talk to dear old Dad. So he follows me up to the room ranting that every time Dad puts on his call light he has to wait at least 10 minutes sometimes for someone to answer it. Then it might not be a nurse who answers it, it could be anybody. (Well it's our policy if you go by a call light, no matter who you are, you answer it.) So he's got me there.

So as I'm trying to talk to Dad..the son picks up the phone, calls the state and is reporting to them that the director and the administrator are never in the building. Shit. I think I passed into that parallel universe again.

I hear him tell the state he can't talk to the director, she's never there, so he had to get somebody named Dawn to complain too. Actually this is all just too stupid for words.

When a complaint is lodged with the state, they have 10 working days to come in and investigate. So..with the self reported abuse today, and this fucking crackhead, that means 2 more surveys in the next 2 weeks.

Just for the record, I'm real tired of this shit.

Best damn news I heard all day. I guess Jeb must of been a little scared of that bitchslap..ya think?

Invoking a law rushed through the Legislature earlier in the day, Gov. Jeb Bush on Tuesday ordered a feeding tube reinserted into a brain-damaged woman at the center of one of the nation's longest and most bitter right-to-die battles.

I can't believe that Terri Schiavo would ever choose starving to death as a way to die.

Years ago when the government legalized abortion, I was sickened. I was sickened when the judge ordered the feeding tube removed.

It's not over, it will eventually happen. Maybe not to Terri, maybe the media will never get a hold of it. But the government will eventually once again sanction murder.

It should scare the hell out of all of us when the government begins defining what "life" is and what "quality of life" is. Shit, they can't even get my income tax right.

Do you ever just find yourself in a sort of a mental lull? Like you placed a phone call to the world and somebody put you on hold and you are wasting time listening to Lawrence Welk does the Beatles? That's about how I feel since Friday.

I just can't get into the swing of things again when it comes to blogging. Don't get me wrong I have several things on my mind I could write about. Bitch slapping Jeb Bush and Terri Schiavo's husband. Osama Bin Stupid's new message. Baseball - like 90% of the blogoshere and how people lose their minds over a game. How my son opted for not playing football last Friday, missing his first game ever but instead went shopping with his sister. Or on a more non-personal note how it's 65 degrees already outside and we are supposed to have a high of 59 today. Just life things.

Tons of work things. How I want to tear the braids off the woman at work I'm going to fire for abuse today and how I had to beg witnesses to sign a statement yesterday so I could take this pig of a human down. Probably even how the son of the woman that was abused is going to tear my head off. How one of my favorite patients who is 98 tried to commit suicide over the weekend.

How the regional president sent out an important email that open toed shoes are not allowed. He really has too much free time.

How the cute salesman brought me a Hersheys chocolate bar yesterday...and how word is spreading through the community I can be had bought with cheap chocolate. Best if I don't go there.

Even good things at work. The husband of one of the patients brought me a rose yesterday. Some of my employees bought me a KFC lunch...take that Pamela Anderson.

Anybody ever feel like not spending too much time on one topic..but just moving on? Thinking what's the point? Not that any of it is irrelevant but actually quite the opposite.

I've had a multitude of hits from search engines for people looking for a picture of Hugo Selenski the accused murderer that escaped from jail. Since they all seem to be still looking for a picture...I aim to please.

By the way... they caught him.

Everyone is safe again.

**Update** If you lost the link to the site - thanks to the spammers try this. Just scroll all the way to the bottom and you should be fine.

I'm sure everyone has heard by now about Nathaniel Heatwole who allegedly took box cutters and other contraband on board an aircraft and hid them in the rear lavatory.

AOL's "The Daily Pulse" has a "non-scientific poll" going, the results so far:

How would you describe this type of act?

Commendable -- it's a gutsy eye-opener 47%
I'm torn -- the means are suspect but it exposes security flaws 34%
Inappropriate and foolish 19%

Does it surprise you the contraband got through?

No, it's about what I'd expect 72%
Yes, I thought security was tighter 28%

Total Votes: 56,314

If anyone who has flown in the last year is surprised...damn, I'm shocked. Yes I am glad he did what he did. Maybe media pressure can continue to change security rather than waiting for another 9-11. I fly fairly routinely and I think security has actually decreased in the last year. I had my purse searched more often prior to 9-11 than I do now....with a shit load more of security personnel on duty.

Actually I think as long as I keep weapons of mass destruction out of my shoes and not taped to the bottom of my feet, I could get anything on a plane in my purse.

If you seen my purse you'd have more appreciation of that statement.

Jay Solo has a very impressive assortment of posts for your enjoyment this week. Check it out.

It can not really be Monday already? I think the earth passed through some form of time warp and the weekend only lasted about 9.25 hours. Something is very very wrong here.

Guess what boys and girls...Santa has a blog.

I'm still searching for the Easter Bunny's.

Is a good movie...it had the general outline of the book and definitely the same characters. Stephen King always has so much filler stuff that 90% of the book was left out but the highlights got hit.

The ending did not follow the book...but that's Hollywood. I'm glad I bought the DVD, we all know how UFO's, aliens, shit weasels and Morgan Freeman can captivate an audience. Well some of us do.

When I read this story over at Instapundit it made me feel ill. You must read the post.

I truly hope this is not happening.

Over the months I've seen the teasing and the begging about being Instalanched and it is fun to see. But Glenn has clout, Glenn has contacts. Glenn had the guy's email address rapidly. I hope he gets a response from Dr. William Winkenwerder. I hope this guy realizes how many eyes are watching just because of Glenn.

Just for that he gets a place on the blogroll.

1. Name five things in your refrigerator.

Rigatoni and Italian sausages, milk, OJ, a bottle of Alize that's getting a little old, cheese.

2. Name five things in your freezer.

Frozen brussel sprouts, frozen cauliflower, two trays of ice cubes, frozen porkchops, frozen beef roast.

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink.

The garbage can, garbage bags, dishwasher soap, Comet and 409 spray.

4. Name five things around your computer.

Heh. Fingernail polish, a desk calendar, a small statue of somekind of buddha, a Stevie Ray Vaughan CD, cup of coffee.

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet.

Band-aids, nail polish remover, 2 necklaces, disposable contact lens, razor blades.

Curtsey to the The Friday Five.

I missed reading all my favorite bloggers this week. Since I woke up at 4am AGAIN I decided to catch up. I really missed some great posts this week. I do enjoy every single one of you.

LittleA has been suffering through the pangs of childrens fund raising events...and maybe, just maybe the effects of female hormones.

Andrew is dreaming about the daughter he never had, and could possibly lose. Someday I'll have to post about the dream where I was a man. Now that's was some scarey shit.

Buffy is in mourning and dressing in black for her Cubs. I must of missed some baseball games this week.

Stevie had so much funny shit, that I had no clue what to link. I think the cow gynecological exams tipped the bucket. I can't wait for the calf pulling post this spring....I bet you'll Stevie can explain that one for those of you who don't know.

DaGoddess has bilateral pneumonia. Hopefully she's getting tons of rest and drinking lots of water. Get better soon Goddess.

Phil is on a rant about fat lazy people. Just because of that I crossed the Ben & Jerry's off the grocery list for today. I'm sure some time in the next two weeks I'll curse you for that.

Dean explains the shenanigans going on in the blogosphere by some hackers. He is also advocating teaching your children about guns. Been there, done that and would do it again. Ignorance about guns can be deadly.

Now for...Death I have no clue where to start. You have masturbation, nipping out, metrosexual, benefits of fellatio and last but far from being the least cell phones. I have to go back and read it all again.

Daria damnit has the new Clay CD and I'm jealous. Yes I like Clay, I like Reuben and I can live with your scorn.

Gennie , now what can I say about Gennie that won't make me sound catty and jealous? Nothing damn it! She's got great hair, a great pedicure and she's got a damn Halloween make over on her blog. If she keeps this shit up, she's going off the blogroll.

Geoffrey is dumping his girlfriend because she fucked up The Baseball Game. That's right ladies he is eligible and he's not retarded and he can cook. That alone gets him 2 points.

The other Dawn shares 50 things about herself.

Charles of Dustbury is house-a-hunting. I'm glad it's you and not me, I hate moving.

Lexxiblog has a great Rigatoni Beef Bake recipe posted. Rigatoni is my favorite pasta. Which reminds me I made rigatoni and Italian sausages Sunday and it's been totally forgotten this week. Rally's, Wendy's and Off The Grill has been the meals of the day this week.

Daniel at Lobowalk is calling all Dimwits. Of course I had to respond.

Anna at Primal Purge is reminiscing about furniture polish. Ahh...I have a few of those memories too. Pledge rules.

The Sage is just a little bit cranky this week....tread lightly.

Sea Doc is Far From Perfect and I think that's great.

Tony is talking about why data is lost. Hmmm. In my business it's called Alzheimers. Yeah, yeah...different data.

Sgt. Hook is talking about big guns over on his blob blog.

Kelley is vacationing and visiting Kate while I'm working my ass off. Somethings are just not fair.

Erica is still unpacking from her move while trying to adjust to a night time work schedule. God I remember those days of working night shift. It just sucked. Oh..by the way, I still have boxes I never unpacked from my last move 3 years ago. Oh well.

Deb has quit smoking and she's going through withdrawals. Hang in there Deb. You can do it.

LeeAnn has a public service announcement for women. Damn good advice too.

Dax is turning into a long haired hippy freak who does karaoke. He just blew the shit out of my image of him. Just Damn!

Tiger has some truths on blogging and gave me a few ideas in the process. I haven't resorted to posting pictures of my breasts....yet. If at any time I say blogging is better than sex...someone please shoot me.

Velociman you are so warped. I just love ya.

Well it's over. Survey went good. A few tags but nothing big...a few minor issues. A nurse didn't wash her hands at the appropriate time, a nursing assistant was standing to feed a patient, privacy curtains too short, paint chipped door frames. Minor things, and the surveyor didn't give us a tag on the thief thing. We survived.

I read all the responses to my previous question. I really got some great ideas. Thank you for doing my thinking for me. Tomorrow I'll think about normal life stuff again...and bullshit blogging will continue commence.

I have one thing on my mind now. Sleep.

I haven't had a lot of time to put much thought into this but my daughter called me the other night, she informed me of something that is not sitting well.

My son plays high school football and apparently the coaches this year are getting very mouthy in the locker rooms. Calling the kids "stupid fuckers", "lazy ass fuckers". I guess there is quite a list and these two coaches go on quite a rant.

My son hasn't complained to me, and he's the type that would not. My told my daughter that it really pisses him off and he's lost alot of respect for the coaches. To the point he wants to quit but loves football too much to do that.

Any guys play high school sports and put up with this crap? My daughter is livid and wants to have a chat with these coaches. At this point I've told her not too...because I know how they take complaints out on the kid. Bullshit if they don't. My son has had a bad enough year with losing his father to cancer. I just don't want to bring any extra shit on his head.

I'm really at a loss here for the moment. Any brilliant ideas? I personally want to fly back and tear their fucking heads off...but that's a knee jerk reaction.

Well I really didn't figure I would have time to post this week, but I didn't anticipate the dipshits at work would call me at 3:15am either. Stupid me.

The survey is going well so far, as far as surveys go. The team leader gave us an exit interview before she left last night. She said things were going well there were "no major concerns but a couple of minor ones." Heh. Who knows what the hell minor is in her book.

So I get a call at 3:15 from a nursing assistant at work who wants to go home because she "has a sore throat". So I asked her why the hell she was calling me and she says the nurse said she had too. Alrighty then..let me talk to the nurse.

The nurse gets on the phone, a nurse that has been there for years. So I ask her the same question...why the hell she is calling me for a friggin sore throat. She says "I was told 6 months ago I couldn't let anybody go home in the middle of the night without permission." So at that point I had to ask her "Who in the hell told you that and why after 6 months are you following the damn friggin rule?"

She laughed. She must die.

So anyway, I told her I'd be in to work in 2 hours, we'll discuss it then.

I hate hell week. My staff loses their minds.

Ok. Not just my staff.

Two days down, two to go.

Well it seems I've gotten some serious linkage from this Yahoo Group, Great Lakes Roads from my Michigan Highways and Byways post.

So if somebody knows somebody who is somebody with the Michigan Roads department...let me tell you something.

Last night driving home on I 96 in the pouring rain in the damn dark was a bitch. Why? Let me tell you. It seems DOT or whoever is responsible to paint those little white lines that separate the 4 lanes..ran out of paint. What a thrill! Who the hell needs to go to Cedar Point for excitement when we have I-96. Yes...at some point in the 90's it probably did have paint. I know for a fact the last 3 years it hasn't.

Ahhh..one more question, just because this bugs me. Why is there a "No Right Turn" sign on the bypass over I 96 and Southfield road..heading north? The one lane, one way ramp without exits? The one I'm sitting on top of every morning stuck in traffic where I can see for miles around in any direction. Just a little joke? I think "No Jumping" would be more appropriate.

I bet you thought I was going to post all about the damn potholes didn't you?

Yesterday I had the most visits to this blog that I have ever had. I didn't realize this last night...because of course Site Meter was down. Again.

I've had about 3 hours sleep and because it's 4am and I can't even form a coherent sentence. So I can't figure out at this time who my Sugar Daddy or Sugar Mama was who gave me the gratuitous linkage, whoever it was....I thank you.

At this rate I might hit 5000 today and I won't even be around to enjoy it. Damn it.

About 9:45am this morning Hell Week officially opened. We had a state surveyor show up to follow up on a complaint we had reported. The complaint was a former employee stole a bank statement from a patient, apparently the same week she did this was when she walked out and quit. That happened to be the week in July I was on vacation.

Our business manager about 30 days ago noticed some suspicious withdrawals from the account. Well the stupid ass paid her bills with it and had direct TV installed at her house. Under federal law this is considered abuse and when we discovered it, we reported it. This is kind of a fucked up law, because when you self report you get a federal defiency tag.

Ok, fine I knew somebody would be dropping by for a day of survey. So in he comes and during the intake interview with him and my boss I notice another state car pull up, then another, then another...total of 5. Well shit..this isn't looking good. I asked him how many surveyors he brought with him and of course he says none. Uh oh.

Well this week it's annual survey time. My facility is crawling with surveyors. They usually show up in December but have a 90 day window either side of last years survey. Our window opened up 9/18.

Anyway, this will probably be it for me blogging the rest of the week until Saturday. For some reason the song phrase...Send Lawyers, Guns and Money won't quit going through my head.

See you on the other side.

For those of you and definitely Stevie who want to expand their vocabulary, I just so happen to have a great site in my favorites folder that I nabbed from someone in the last few weeks.

Swearaurus

I don't know why, but I figured it might come in handy someday.

Please see the update too Michigan Highways and Byways. I've been graciously corrected. My apologies.

Buffy had a rant. What totally amazed me, she can rant without cussing. I can not drive a mile from my home without cussing. I can't put on my makeup without cussing. Even my first cup of coffee in the morning I'm thinking "Shit..that's good."

I can not remember a time I didn't cuss. I used to be able to cuss in Italian, still remember a few of the words but English has won out over the years.

I usually don't cuss at work or around children. Usually. Sometimes things have slipped out over the years. I remember once when my youngest son was 15 months old and called his Grandpa a jackass that I knew I needed to be more careful. Thankfully it wasn't worse.

Since I've moved to Michigan I've learned to cuss with "clean" words thanks to my staff. I didn't even know what a cracker was until four years ago. Not that the clean words help any more. Somebody in another department actually was fired yesterday for saying to another employee "you're just a pigeon, a buston." Whatever. Try and figure that out.

Cussing is just not what it used to be.

Well I bought my new phone tonight, it's charging away. I'm glad to be rid of my other piece of crap. The Sanyo 8100.

I'll give you the review in a couple of weeks.

***Update: Well I'm not off to a good start, when I called to activate it the Sprint rep stated it didn't have a recognizable valid ID #. To take it back to Best Buy. Well I got to BestBuy at 8:55, let me tell you they are not nearly as nice and agreeable at that moment. After arguing with the sales rep for 10 minutes, they finally exchanged the phone and activated it there..I highly insisted. Well it's done, I'm back home...and the jury has left the building.

I love to write stories...but of course I believe I suck at it. I posted some stories on Stories.com for awhile, actually still have some there. I like to write horror and thriller..but the ratings I received when I wrote erotica was much higher. Go figure.

Acidman is doing some creative writing with daily prompts. Take a look at his site and he'll tell you what it's all about.

Today's promt: My ass was sore.

I'll think I'll leave that one alone and wait for another day.

I had another incident with my male Indian nurse Friday, which carried over to today. Friday one of the Unit Managers wrote a disciplinary action for him for 2 serious offenses...failure to give a medication, and failure to properly monitor an IV infusion. Actually these were both termination offenses. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt..offer more training and counseling, my managers are against it, but being the boss I get the last word.

He has several excellent qualities and I feel is definitely trainable. His biggest weakness is asking for assistance with something he just don't get..mainly, which he won't admit too, is because the managers are women.

Well Friday in serving these disciplinary actions he didn't take it well at all, but better than the last time I talked to him. At least he agreed to sit down this time and listen to what I was telling him. At least when the 2 other managers were in there.

Well the meeting ended and he was to follow the inservice director for immediate inservicing on IV's...which he did for about 10 feet came back in the office and closed the door so it was just the two of us.

Well at that point he got in my face and asked why I am not treating him like a man. He told me you do not give men disciplinary actions. I am supposed to treat men with respect and tell them what they are doing wrong. That in his country women treat men with more respect. Alrighty then.

I've said before I don't quite respond well when I feel threatened, so at that point I took a step towards him as I pushed him away. Which he continued to try and rant at me...until I told him to shut the hell up. To make a long story short, I gave him a rapid education that I was his boss, woman or not, and he could leave at any time he so chooses or if he continues to screw up it will be at my choosing. I reminded him that in this country...and this is the US, not HIS prior country, nursing is predominately female and no matter where he goes he's probably going to be working under a female. If he can't deal with that it's time to change fields. With that I told him to get the hell out of my office or leave the building. He chose to go back to work.

Well this morning he came in to talk to me and said that the Unit Manager who he is currently working under lies and he doesn't want to work under her anymore. I told him when I had an opening on another unit, he could move.

Well his wife works there also, has for years and is an excellent nurse. There hasn't been any problems because I keep them on separate floors. So today he informs me "You move my wife, I'll take her unit." Of course I told him it doesn't work that way. He says, I'll tell her to move. I told him no he won't.

Anyway..he wasn't threatening today, but he's supposed to be decide by tomorrow if he's going to quit. At this point....good riddance.

Damn it, but I think my managers were right this time.

Have you checked it out?

I've posted before how Michigan roads and traffic patterns are FUBAR. I stumbled across this site via the Detroit Free Press. Apparently Michigan has to have it's own website to explain the stupidity logic behind their reasoning for doing what they do.

Make sure you check out the Michigan left hand turn. This is the completely fucked up way that Michiganders have to turn left. To sum it up:

When you want to turn left, get rapidly into the right hand lane, turn right, cut across 3 lanes of traffic to get into the far left lane, turn left. And if you are wanting to go some place on the right hand of the street, that means cutting across 3 lanes of traffic to the far right hand side to turn right.

The dipshitsexperts say this is to prevent blocking traffic from those turning left to allow smoother flowing traffic. Apparently they don't give a shit about the traffic flow on the cross street with all those cars dodging across 3 lanes to make a right turn into that damn White Castles.

Of course if you are a policeman or drive a mass transit bus, apparently there is an obscure law that states you can turn left wherever the fuck you want.

Check below for even more wits of wisdom thats been posted to this official site.

***Update: I obviously screwed up. This is not an official site. Please see the comments.

Well Kelley has done it again this weeks Cul-De-Sac is out, longer and better than ever.

Kelley makes sure that whatever you might have a taste for it's included in the Cul-De-Sac. Well almost anyway. Good enough to keep you busy for hours.

Check it out.

I've seen several posts the last few weeks commenting on the worst possible job. Some have been serious, some in jest. But I ran across this job.

It might not be the worst job..but it's damn close. Gagged me to read it.

Now does anybody besides me think the blogroll has been down just a little bit too long?

How the hell do they expect me to find all my favorites?

I hate when this happens.

I talked to an old friend yesterday for awhile. Somebody I hadn't talked to in several months. Isn't it strange when you reflect back on your life and see how someone made a difference in your life.

Sometimes you meet people like that, maybe they aren't in your life for a long time, but what they bring can put you on a life changing path? Karma?

Life can be so odd. You never know, maybe the next person you meet could be one of those people.

Now isn't this a picture worth a 1000 words? I'm sure serial killer suspect Hugo Selenski has a good story to tell in how he tied sheets together to escape from seventh-floor cell at the Luzerne County Correctional Facility.

But this is the story I'm more interested in:

Selenski's partner in the Friday night jailbreak, Scott Bolton, was injured in the escape and hospitalized.

Bolton, who is charged with stealing ATVs, apparently fell, injuring his ankle, pelvis and ribs; he and was captured on the roof. Selenski used the mattress to scale a 10-foot razor wire fence, Fischi said.

One has to wonder what went down on the roof.

The full story.

I ran across this post at
Feministe, of course I respectfully disagree with many of her statements in regards to abortion and Life Chain.

The first part of the post deals with the Indiana Right to life group, which of course I'm not familiar with but evidently the site mentions Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome to quote Feministe:

It also stresses something called Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome.

Guess what? It doesn't exist! At least, not scientifically. It is not a recognized syndrome anywhere in any phychiatric journal or resource, unless that publication houses writers who are anti-abortion. No surprise to you and me, but I wonder how many believe in this "syndrome's" validity. Enough, apparently, to continue lining our local streets with people holding "Abortion Hurts Women" signs every fall. Aside from a false syndrome and over-hyped risks, I wonder exactly what they mean?

Post abortion stress syndrome can fall under the psychiatric diagnosis of "Post-traumatic Stress Disorder" (PTSD) or "Acute Stress Disorder". Which you can find information here.

It seems the symtoms are very real and manifested in a variety of ways the head doctors are having some trouble categorizing it. I ran across articles that believe it should be under a new category in the DSM IV, "Religious or Spiritual Problems" or continue under the stress/adjustment disorders. Some clinicians and researchers are sitting on the fence due to studies that show women who have stress and adjustmental disorders are more likely to have abortions.

This is definitely a whole post in itself, that I'll save for an upcoming post.

To continue:

But if there are two things I cannot stand, the first is hypocrisy and the second is spin.

Prayer can be a powerful thing. Prayer is something that can be performed in public or in private. Prayer is probably not something that includes gathering en masse with political signs.

First, what is political about signs that say:

ABORTION KILLS CHILDREN
JESUS FORGIVES AND HEALS
ADOPTION: THE LOVING OPTION
LORD, FORGIVE US AND OUR NATION
ABORTION HURTS WOMEN
PRAY TO END ABORTION
LIFE—THE FIRST INALIENABLE RIGHT

If it is a true Life Chain event event, it is completely non-political.

When I lived in Iowa, Life Chain was something I helped organize and definitely participated in every year. It was coordinated through the county churches. We had close contacts with other counties and cities within a 100 mile radius. It was always a very quiet prayerful gathering.

Another thing, people have been gathering en masse for prayer for centuries. It's called church. No..not the building, not the denomination...but a gathering of worshippers.

What incenses me about this particular protest, the "Life Chain," is the denial of the gathering as a political act. It is much less offensive to claim that you gather in the name of a God than in the name of partisan politics, and so they do. While these groups realize that it isn't God who they have to "petition" for changes in legalization, but state and federal politicians, they continue to evoke the name of a Christain god and claim that their intentions are morally and not politically based.

Yes, I guess you could say it's political because the event is intended to enlist the help of the Supreme Being to influence others.

The purpose of Life Chain:

Accordingly, LIFE CHAIN is not a demonstration intended chiefly for the general public. Instead, its first goal is to minister to its own participants—to those who hold the pro-life messages and declare abortion a grave evil that defames the name and righteousness of God (Leviticus 18:21). Indeed we who call Christ our Savior have failed to intervene as we should have during the past three decades, while over 40 million boys and girls in America alone have been killed through surgical abortion and with additional millions dying from chemical contraceptives and the once prevalent IUD.

Now for saying "It is much less offensive to claim that you gather in the name of a God than in the name of partisan politics, and so they do. "

Come on now...what country are you from? I can't believe how fast this nation is turning into Christians being the most politically uncorrect group around. Look for media coverage of the Life Chain. A search on Google News comes back with 70 hits, for an event that took place in over 900 cities. Not really newsworthy is it?

If the event was political all Life Chain would need was 100 democrats a couple of signs holding "Howard Dean for President"...in the middle of Timbuktu Iowa...and the media would of been all over it. Throw in a hog roast and CNN would of been there.

But gather a few Christians and suddenly every damn liberal is screaming there is a hidden agenda. Life Chain is exactly what it says it is.

In regards to education:

I've said it before and I'll say it again. If society wants to reduce the number of unplanned pregnancies, and thus abortion, we would be much better off communicating valid information with the legitimate backing research to our children and to our communities. We would also provide easy access to contraceptives to those of us who are sexually active, not only to prevent pregnancies, but to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Denying comprehensive sex education does little more than misinform the masses and perpetuate myths about pregnancy and intercourse.

Of course we could educate on abstinence and taking responsibility for ones own actions....but that's such a downer.

1. Do you watch sports? If so, which ones?

Hell no. Well sometimes boxing.

2. What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes?

That football guy that knocked the shit out of employees in that commercial.

3. Are there any sports you hate?

No. That would require having to watch it and think about it.

4. Have you ever been to a sports event?

Boxing, but not for years. Joe Frazier was fighting the last time I went. Some time in the last century.

5. Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play?

Basketball, volleyball, tennis. Just to get out of going home after school. I would just sign up with whatever my bestfriend wanted to do, she had a mother with a car I could catch a ride home with after. When I finally got my drivers license and a job that problem was solved.

Courtesy of The Friday Five.

I ran across this little gem from Saudi Princess Reem Al-Faisal:

"The Americans insist that most criticism directed toward their policies stems from a deep-seated anti-Americanism which the entire world has been suffering from since the founding of the U.S. In fact, I find that the world has been more than forgiving toward the Americans from the very beginning.

"The U.S. should leave Iraq after apologizing for over a million dead after an unlawful embargo and a colonial war which at best is a farce and at worst a crime… Are the Americans willing to admit their mistakes? This is the most important question of the 21st century, since much of the world's safety depends on it."

Isn't she just a sweet little princess? I wonder how many of the terrorists she is funding. I hope she doesn't hold her breath for that apology. Wait...I hope she does hold her breath.

I had to put this under the "General Bullshit and Ramblings" category...only this time it wasn't my own.

Being a nurse for too damn many years I've ran across this too much. From new born babies to definitely the elderly where I am now.

Sweet Jesus I have alot to say about this, but it makes me feel sick to even think about it. As a director of nursing I have the final say of what goes down in my facility and withholding food and fluids etc. will never happen where I am. I either ship them off to the hospital or help the family find immediate alternate placement. That is something I can not live with. I am a caregiver to someone's final moments. I will not play the executioner.

My heart goes out to the family and caregivers of Terri Schiavo , that's not a place I would want to be in, or my family to be in.

If you do not have advance directives , what are you waiting for.

There is no excuse.

Save your family, caregivers and possibly the judges from needless pain.

Enuff said.

I've had my current phone over two years now..and I've wanted a new one for about a year. I hate this little sucker, not the size, I like it. But when I use it, it gets hotter than hell. I don't remember my previous one doing that.

Every time I go to buy one, the damn sales clerk will say "wait til you see what they are coming out with next month! Those are really cool!" Fine damn it...I end up waiting.

I'm sure I'll probably end up getting a phone that takes pictures. Why? I have no friggin' clue. Just because I guess.

Any way I was reading at Tony's site about a cell phone exploding. Then I think about how hot mine gets...actually to the point I have to get off the phone. I looked at my last billing cycle when I snatched this picture of my phone, and I used 26 minutes out of 5000 last month.

So now I'm wondering why I even have one. Sometimes I do such stupid shit.

Do you ever have days where you would give money to be able to stay home and not do shit?

I would love to play a fresh vegetable out of the garden today. I'd even be an ugly vegetable. I would make a good turnip today.

About 5 years ago this week I spent a few days at Ocean City, MD. It was cool and sunny and so much fun walking the boardwalks during the weekday without a ton of people. It was like having the place all to ourselves. It was one of the most relaxing vacations I ever had.

Beam me up Scotty.

Apparently there are rumors of Arafat's demise.

But it's quoting a French site...what can I say.

George Bush wrote a poem for Laura Bush:

"Roses are red, Violets are blue
Oh my, lump in the bed
How I've missed you.

Of course the critics don't get it. As Professor Hoffpauir called it a little gesture between a husband and a wife.

Men..pay attention here. This is not a little gesture. This is the big stuff that gets you extra points. This is the big stuff that makes relationships work. This is the big stuff that makes us remember why we really wanted a man around in the first place.

That is romantic as hell, and George just got a whole lot sexier in my eyes.

TIME The Acidman Is Alive and Well Gut Rumbles

Well as you can see I was playing with pictures and boxes this morning. I obvious suck at this, but what the hell.

The point is Acidman is alive and well. You can follow that link to find him, or the little itty bitty one on the bottom of the too big Times box.

Even if the rumours of his demise were true, he's too damn onery not to post from the other side.

I heard Lola today by the Kinks. I hadn't heard it for quite sometime. I still like that song.

When that song came out I had no clue what they were talking about. My friends didn't either...so I wasn't the only naive one. It probably took me 5 more years to figure it out.

Damn, times have changed.