Altered Perceptions

PayPal

Have you ever tried to use PayPal when you can't remember what friggin' email you used, let alone password. Trust me it sucks. Took me over a hour to figure this out. Grrr...

In the meantime I have an ex just call me to tell me all about his trip for 20 days to the Phillipines. Oh boy. He has a bad cold and didn't appreciate it when I told him he probably has SARs. He's so gullible.

An Invitation

Governor Asks Former Iowans To Come Home

Tell you what Babe..you pack me up, move me, guarantee me even 75% 80% of my current salary, I'd be on my way. Ok, ok..I'll pack the crap up myself and pay for the move...but I'm not carrying the furniture.

Older Woman and Younger Men

Well it seems like every news site I've looked at today is telling the world that older women are looking for younger men.

I don't think we are out there looking for them but I believe younger men have some preconceived notions about older women and therefore pursue older women more than you can imagine.

Some of those preconceived notions:
All the surveys about sex being more enjoyable for women in their 30's, 40's...I can't speak for higher, but that's not a myth, that's true. For all you younger women believe it or not...it gets even better.

There is alot less stress and tension about where the relationship is going to go, like marriage and a family. Most of us have been there done that and don't want to go back. A lot less drama.

I think they think we are desperate. Hell maybe we are. I'll end that one here.

My mother married a man 12 years younger than she was. I was a teen at the time I remember thinking she was nuts and in fact I about died (so I thought) of embarrassment. They were very happily married for about 19 years before he was tragically killed in a car accident.

So I figured if good old Mom could do it I could, so I dated a man 8 years younger than myself for about 3 months. It was interesting to say the least but I really didn't feel I had anything in common with him...and I felt like I was robbing the cradle.

So that's my two cents worth on the whole subject.

Hell on Earth

Is the name of the rock band that was planning to show a "live suicide" on stage during their concert in St. Petersburg.

The hard-rock band Hell on Earth had said that a suicide by a terminally ill person would take place during a concert Saturday to raise awareness of right-to-die issues.

The theaters owner cancelled the circus and it seems they are having trouble booking the gig but

Band leader Billy Tourtelot has vowed that the concert and suicide will still take place at an undisclosed location in the city, broadcast live on the band's Web site.

"This show is far more than a typical Hell On Earth performance," Tourtelot said in an e-mail last week. "This is about standing up for what you believe in, and I am a strong supporter of physician-assisted suicide."

Apparently assisting in a suicide is a felony and a manslaughter charge. I wonder if he's willing to go to jail for his beliefs? I bet not.

Check it out.

**Update: Hell on Earth website.

Damn, Damn, Damn

Where the hell did the warm air go? I heard there is a chance for snow flurries on Wednesday...this can not be. I am not ready.

Did anybody else notice the sun was setting way too far to the south tonight when I was driving home from work? That I have to turn my lights on when I walk in the apartment now? Well I noticed...and I'm not liking it.

I watched a show on a some science channel yesterday afternoon about blizzards. I couldn't take more than 15 minutes of it. Bitter cold, wind making snow feel like sand on your face, sliding off the road, frostbite,..shoveling.

The four months of warm weather makes up for it right? HELL NO.

I must be nuts.

This Weeks Cul-De-Sac

I can't think of a better place to start reading blogs today then here:

How do you like that nifty little image? There is definitely no one out there that can take a walk through the world of blogs like Kelley of Suburban Blight .

To quote her on the current Cul-De-Sac:

126 blogs, 101 trackback pings, and over 140 individual posts are included in this week's effort.

That's alot of effort and work, check it out for yourself.

The Night I Got Shot

I've read alot online lately about gun control. I am definitely for the right to bear arms. We can not put laws into place to prevent fools from being fools. Fools exist in every country, every city, every block in the neighborhood.

I was shot by a fool when I was 19. Then again, I was in a place where fools tend to gather. A bar. The drinking age at that time was 18 and every weekend was bar night. The name of the bar was SteveBo's, one of those neighborhood bars with a couple of pool tables, good music on the juke box, no old fogies to torment you.

It was around 10pm I was playing pool with a group of friends when Steve the owner came in. He was obviously very drunk and who knows what else he had been doing. Well for some reason out of all those people he spots me and decided I need to dance for him. I told him to go to hell and continued to play pool, doing my best to ignore him. Then I notice the pool table area starts clearing out rapidly - then I notice Steve standing there with a gun.

Again he told me to dance or he was going to shoot me. Well the way people were flying out of the bar, including his friends I assumed he meant business. I've said before I'm a stubborn bitch and when I'm threatened I do not act rationally. I put my stick down took a step at him and said "fuck you". He shot me in the leg, which at the time I didn't know he did. He didn't either, he thought he shot at the floor. Again he said "dance". About that time I felt something very wet running down my leg and seen the blood pooling under the cuff of my jeans.

At this point Steve went nuts and started yelling "I can't believe I shot you!" Well duh. Luckily he only took off a junk a skin off my calf and put a hole in my favorite jeans.

Well I left the bar naturally with Steve yelling at me as I left that I have free drinks for the rest of my life. Yeah right fool, like I would ever go back there again.

About 5 years after that, Steve was shot and killed in another bar. Shot point blank in the chest...the man who shot him never had charges filed against him. Who knows what went down.

New Blog Showcase

I'm voting for King of Fools Caucasian Club , it's an excellent read.

Just scroll down until you find it.

Doing Time

When I read this post by Tiger...I thought wow, this is my life. Those lyrics:

I don't pick up the mail, I don't pick up the phone

As quietly as a mouse I haunt these halls

I don't feel depressed, I don't feel sad. I just feel like I'm doing time. I've loved, I've laughed, I've cried and life keeps moving on. I had a 20 year marriage, I've had my kids, I've had my career.

The last five years I've had two relationships that could of gone long term, but it was like putting in time with them also. When I first separated and filed for divorce I could not imagine living life alone, without love...hell without sex. Over the last seven years my priorities have changed. I have no fucking clue what they are, but I guess part of me knows what they aren't.

Tiger writes:

I have thought about seeing a doctor, but then I would be saying something is wrong with me for feeling this way, and I don't think there is anything wrong with me for feeling this way. In fact, I think I am feeling exactly like any normal person would feel who has lived through the kind of life I have had so far.

I think he's right. In the meanwhile I'll do my time and see what happens.

Another Blackout

Now I've said before how it doesn't take much for me to buy into a conspiracy theory. I haven't heard any about the blackouts, but isn't it just a little odd that 3 countries have had major blackouts within the last 6 weeks?

Italy is blaming France. I think we all should. France hasn't had a blackout, but they did have the big checkout. What was it..13 or 14,000? Ok, maybe we should blame Germany.

Check it out.

Important!

Finally there has been a study done that will give many of us relieve from all those "other" people who have halitosis. God bless the Good Housekeeping Institute for finding out the answer to an age old problem.

Now I don't know about you, but my candy jar in my office is going to be filled with these bad boys. Not that I'll ever need it of course. Just those other people.

Check out the results of the study.

I Finally Did It

Yes I did. I finally contacted Joni about doing something to change my site. I hope she survives me. I went whoa! had a little trouble answering those questions.

I'm sure she will be shaking her head when she reads the answer for: Do you use php or HTML? My intelligent answer to this question: Huh? I wanted to answer a Dell...but knew that was probably not what she was looking for.

I suppose the answer to the question :What platform do I use?" was not "a soapbox" either. I had to think about it awhile, I hope the correct answer was Windows XP?

God, I hope she don't dump me. I know if I was her I'd be reading my letter thinking "this woman is too stupid for words."

Isn't it scarey that people like me can even have a blog?

Mason Proffit

One of my favorite bands of all time was a little known band called Mason Proffit. I really didn't discover them until about the time they were disbanding. I did get to see John and Terry Talbot in concert around '75. They played a few of their old stuff, but mostly new. It was good, but I was disappointed.

Here is a listing of their recordings. I can't find alot about them on the net but did find some old reviews here , apparently a couple of other people feel the same way I did.

I have all of there stuff on LP's, lot a good it does me since I don't have a turn table..but I'm not giving them up. I see a couple of them with a current bid on Amazon of $35.

Anyway..if you ever get a chance, listen to Eugene Pratt and Two Hangmen.

Past revisited.

I can't remember a time without the Beatles. My very first 45 was the Beatles "I Wanna Hold Your Hand". I can't think of all the music I've owned and listened to over the years, the Beatles still have an enormous impact.

Some of my favorites:

Don't Let Me Down

Golden Slumbers is what I sang to my babies.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps , I think the lyrics and the music got George by on this one. His voice was definitely nothing to write home about...but damn he was cute.

She Came in Through the Bathroom Window

Oh Darling, my all time favorite. No one ever liked this song but me.

I have a story about that song. The first time I ever heard it, I was at a party in a friends basement. We were smoking pot, just sitting around doing stoner shit. I was staring at this picture of Jesus hanging on the wall across the room when it fell down and the glass broke. No one says a word for awhile and finally the kid whose house it is says "weird shit man." Funny how I can remember that of all things.

Google

I've never noticed this before, but Google will answer your questions for money if you use Google Answers .

What is absolutely amazing about this is the money people are paying for some relatively easy questions. Check out the questions.

4am

Waking up very early is a double edged sword. I always know I need more sleep but the quiet is heavenly. No people tromping overhead, no cars honking, screeching tires, no sirens, no kids yelling, no neighbors fighting, no big ass bitch screaming into the telephone sitting in her window, no telemarketers. The list could go on.

The rest of the world could be gone, it's that quiet, well for Detroit. When I lived in the country in Iowa it was that way every day. Isolation can be a good thing.

Well now it's 7am and I'm washing my bathroom rugs. With this cheap ass wash machine in this apartment the rest of the building should be waking up any minute now. Do you know how loud a wash machine is that's always out of balance? Heh.

Living Out in the Boondocks

When you live out in the boondocks something like what this man did, is not all that uncommon.

I remember when I first moved out to the boondocks in Iowa I found out about Inez, a little old lady who had to be in her late 60's. Inez lived in a hut about a mile as the crow flies from me. The hut didn't have a door, and actually it was several pieces of sheet metal, some railroad ties and whatever else Inez could find. Her home was actually on the edge of a road ditch, where years ago she claimed squatters rights.

Across the road, her brother Eli did the same thing. His hut was a little bigger, he actually sectioned off rooms being the excellent handyman that he was. His daughter lived with him, who was actually in high school when I first met them.

The county electrical company out of the kindness of their hearts ran them a drop line off a light pole. Inez had one big lightbulb to lighten up her hut. Now Eli had a door on, so I'm not quite sure how he rigged his up.

Inez and Eli always had a huge garden, but other than that, I have no clue what they survived on. Inez was quite chunky, so she obviously had food. Inez lived in her hut for about 3 years after I moved up there until one day her brother found her collapsed. She went to the hospital and straight to the nursing home from there. She didn't survive much longer after that.

As soon as she was admitted to the nursing home, the county came and tore down Inez's hut. Not much longer after that I noticed that Eli had his own light pole with a meter on it. Civilization at it's finest.

Now 20 years later Eli and his daughter still live in that very same hut. Last time I was home I drove by there and they even have a truck and direct TV now. It sits right up on top where the same railroad ties and cement bricks hold the plywood and metal sheeting down for a few decades now. Next time I go back to Iowa I'll take a picture of it.

I never have been able to understand how they survive, Iowa winters are a bitch. People complain about Michigan winters ..hell I'll take them anytime. I remember one winter it was -29 degrees. That's not the windchill. The winds were 40-50 mph that night. Don't believe that BS that when it's that cold it won't snow. Yes it will. We lived in an old farmhouse at that time, and with a wood burner going and a the furnace we couldn't get the temperature above 45 degrees in there.

Inez and Eli survived it in their shacks. Inez was one tough woman.

FUBAR

The internet is totally FUBAR for me this morning. What's up with that? AOL is the only thing I can get to work half way decent. I'm still using the cable modem so it's not that.

I guess I should take it as a sign, give up and go to work.

Glenn Slips?

What's up with this? Has the Instapundit been dethroned? Somehow I doubt that.

Higher Beings
1.c is for (13035) details
2.Instapundit (2024) details
3.Talking Points Memo (1121) details
4.Eschaton (Atrios) (1087) details
5.Daily Kos / Political State Report (1066) details
6.Andrew Sullivan (1019) details
7.Little Green Footballs (921) details
8.CalPundit (909) details
9.USS Clueless (878) details
10.The Truth Laid Bear (867) details ** WMDI **

The Alliance is going to love this one.

Get the Buzz

What's your Buzzosity ?

Different.

Something is Happening Here

The Sarge is singing us a picture again.

He has an amazing voice. Go look listen to his tune.

Odors

Tony always posts the most interesting things. Well this post...I'm not sure if it's the "neatest" thing, but "Flatus Odor Judge" reminds me alot of nursing.

I can't begin to explain how much smell plays a part in nursing. If you've been a doctor or a nurse long enough, somethings you can almost diagnose from smell alone.

Intestinal C. Diff. infection. The most horrific bowel movement odor imaginable that pervades throughout a unit, or a hospital floor. I was doing rounds about 3 weeks ago with one of my nurse managers. As I entered the hall - the smell about knocked me over. I asked her who had diarrhea on her unit. She told me nobody. My response was bullshit - no pun intended- someone has C. Diff. After questioning a couple of the nursing assistants, the patient was pinpointed, and 2 days later verified by lab tests.

A wound with a staph infection...very distinct. Gangrene, horrid, all you have to do is walk near a patient.

Uncontrolled diabetics urine smells just like maple syrup. Just yesterday when I went in early at breakfast time I asked the nurse on a unit I had just passed through if they were having pancakes for breakfast or if we have a new diabetic. Gross I know. Actually it was waffles for breakfast.

I could go on, but I won't. You get the idea.

Tony, I think you have the most informative, interesting blog on the net. No shit. Pun intended.

I Need a Plumber

My bathroom seems to have water seeping up through the floor tiles. This can not be a good thing. To make matters worse when I went to flush the toilet the handle broke off, so now I have to take the lid off to pull the thingie up to flush.

Now I'm sitting here thinking, with my luck, probably sometime in the middle of the night when I'm going to the bathroom the toilet will fall through the floor. God paying me back for laughing so hard at Greg.

What to wear? What to wear?

I'm sitting here, reading blogs, procrastinating getting ready for work because I have no friggin clue what to wear. Yeah those days happen. Too hot for that, too cool for that, makes my ass look even bigger, too tight on the boobs...better shave my legs for that one. Takes too long to go to the bathroom if I wear that. Have to wear those shoes if I wear this.

Just too damn many decisions. I need to go back to wearing scrubs...life was easier. Get them all color coordinated and then you grab and run. Keep the nail polish neutral..and Ouila! Unless it's one of those scrub tops that make your ass look bigger...but I won't go there.

Tony at Technically Speaking has posted something that I definitely would wear. He's wondering how the camera would work if you were wearing it. I'm wondering if it would make my ass look bigger.

Proposition 54

I've posted before my thoughts on Proposition 54 that is on Californias ticket to end color blindness. Negrophile has posted part of the last governatorial debate where the candidates give their view.

Camejo claims that Latino pays higher tax rates, and if Propositon 54 went into effect, we would never know that, so the government should keep tracking this. Why Camejo? So the government knows who to tax more? Please.

Huffington wants Proposition 54 not to pass so if any potential presidential candidates gets into Yale on Daddy's name, we know. Excuse me...that is nepotism. The same thing it would be if let's say the same happened for Colin Powell and a son. Would it be racism then? I think not.

The Terminator...I have no fucking clue what he said. Could someone interpret that ramble for me?

Bustamante was just about as bad...I get the feeling he wants the government to enforce tolerance and embracing. Oh yeah, that will work. Been working for decades right? Can I sign up for the tolerance and embracing committee please? Maybe we can check it on a government form...donate a $1.

McClintock sounds like he is the only one for the Proposition, and was the only one to actually give his own thoughts on the matter. Not hype, not back patting. No brainwashed pat answer. I have no clue who this man is...but he definitely comes out more sane then the others. But it didn't take much.

I wonder if America would be better off if we got rid of politicians.

Blocus

Jivha - The Tongue has a roundup of blogger links of some of his favorites. His blog focus = blocus, umm....he'll explain it better that I can.

Posting Problems

I have had trouble with posting all night. I just noticed the post before last posted twice. Every time I hit publish a error screen comes up that the site can't be found...when I finally do get it to publish. This is the first time I've really had problems since using MT.

What's up with that?

Dave Matthews

Dave is rocking live on AOL right now...and I'm sure it's the best damn thing AOL has ever done. If you have AOL you don't want to miss this one. Warren Hayes the guitarist is sounding damn sweet. Heh. What did you expect me to say?

The Ten Commandments of Blogging

Tobacco Road Fogey has a real jewel here. I love it, I think you will too:

The Ten Commandments of Blogging

11. Fix thy permalinks and keep them in the best of repair always, for they are the path to traffic (and heaven).

If there is anybody left that hasn't checked him out...it's a gotta do it.

Bush on Faith

The Accidental Jedi has a great post about President Bush and his faith.

I do admire and respect President Bush and the fact he has stood his ground about his faith and not put it on the back burner. I'm sure he has taken heat for it, and will even in the future.

I wish I would of seen the interview.

Beware of the killer worms

Is there anything more disgusting in nature than having to walk on worms after a rain? I hate to step on a worm, I can't stand that squish. It's not any better when the sun comes out and dries them up, then they crunch if you happen to step on one.

I've always thought worms were nothing more than slow stupid snakes...therefore must be hated. I'm from Iowa farm country, yes, I know worms are supposed to be good for the soil, we all know robins love them..and how can you not like robins. Even if they eat worms. But still.

I used to like to go fishing, but never with worms. I used to make some concoction of cornmeal balls. Worked good for catfish...and that's all I wanted.

Tonight I see this about killer worms. Worms are really disgusting.

Toys for Iraq

Now if you want to know what this is all about check out Chief Wiggles and
Dean's World.

They will get you up to speed on a very worthy cause.

I'm a Bitch.

In answering a letter to Joni I realized I need to give some time to the flip side of the medical world.

Yes, there are some incompetent, lazy fools in the medical profession. I employ a few. We make mistakes at work. I own them and try to learn from them, teach and scare the shit out of others about them. I fire these people as fast as I spot them. Sometimes it's after they fucked up unfortunately. I wish to God I had a bullshit meter that functioned better.

I am THE Bitch from Hell when one of my loved ones are in the hospital. Not too long ago my mother was taken to the ER with slurred speech, dizziness and nausea. When my brother called me from Iowa in route to the hospital I told him then, it sounds like a CVA (stroke).

A couple of hours later he calls back, they admitted her. The ER MD "felt" it was probably her cancer resurfacing "with metastasis to the brain from her prior breast cancer". What? I yelled at my brother. My mother had beaten the cancer 20 years ago. I asked if they seen that on the CAT scan. He said...they didn't do a CAT scan, just admitted her for observation. After all it was a Saturday, they'd call in the cardiologist on Monday.

I told my brother to go to that MD and quote me word for word: "If you don't do a CAT scan immediately, my sister is going to sue your ass."

Well he did, and the MD promptly shipped her off to a hospital in Des Moines, where she had a CAT scan immediately and of course was in fact having a stroke. Prompt attention there stopped further brain damage.

The exact same scenario happened with my aunt. Yes, there are incompetent MD's.

Last year my Grandmother was taken to the hospital and had emergency surgery for a perforated bowel. Two days after surgery, she was recouping fine...so I did not fly back. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

My mother called me that second day, said Grandma was doing great, the only complaint she had was leg pain. WHAT? Any damn nurse or MD knows if a patient after surgery has leg pain, it's probably a DVT (deep vein thrombosis) aka blood clot. I called the nurses station...the nurse was busy. I called Mom back and said go to the nurse and tell her to check for DVT's.

Mom didn't do it. The "nurse was busy and she's nice, she knows what she is doing". Grandma pitched a clot to her brain 12 hours later and never woke up. Yes, her legs had been full of blood clots.

This is Nursing 101. I should of flown my ass back there, but it wasn't a good time at work. I'll never, ever make that mistake again.

Maybe today I'll cut those families some slack.

So is your child informed or stupid?

For the most part I like my job. I just don't deal with bullshit well. Some of the recent family things I'm talking about with the threats of being sued, or actually being sued:

1. Dad was admitted with severe back pain but to recoup from a cardiac problem, but according to the daughter only developed after being admitted. Come to find out Dad was in a serious car accident 30 years ago and several of his vertebrae were fractured, which mended without alot of torture through the years. Well 2 months before being admitted Dad fell at home and the pain resurfaced. Hospitals being what they are today only dealt with the immediate cardiac concern and sent him off to us. Dad after a multitude of years of cuddling up with Jack Daniels actually has a multitude of problems. So he's being sent off to a variety of specialists since admission. Monday, Darlin Daughter takes Dad out to the nephrologist and swings by his favorite chiropractor for his back pain on the way back. When he returns, he can't hardly move. So now she's "going to sue your ass if we don't get to the bottom of this back pain". Hello?

Second case: Dad who has had a stroke who needs thickened liquids was found by Darlin Daughter sitting in the hallway sipping a glass of water - unthickened. Some well meaning passerby (staff, patient, visitor)? Gave him a cup out of the drinking fountain because Dad was thirsty. Well shit happens. Mind you Dad has lived there for 2 years without problems. Darlin Daughter visits every other month and goes off the deep end seeing this. Yells at me that she is going to sue my ass if he ever gets aspiration pneumonia. Well yeah Dad can...happens alot if you have swallowing problems, especially when you choke food down and don't want a tube feed. Dad ate his meals by my office because of the problems and I had performed the heimlach manuever on him several times in 2 years. So I told her I wouldn't live under that threat, and I'd have Social Services contact her in the morning regarding alternate placement. Seven days later Dad was taken to another facility, fell 3 days later and fractured his hip and died during surgery. Yes I feel bad because I lost my temper and let psychotic family members interfere.

Last but not the least, this is a current lawsuit:

Mom was admitted from the hospital after being found by Darlin Daughter at home with multiple bedsores and a massive weight loss. Obvious Darlin Daughter who lives close by hadn't visited in a while. In our facility she continued to refuse to eat, continued to lose weight and of course the bedsores were not healing. No matter how much we had family meetings telling this bitch that if Mom didn't have tube feeding, IV's etc....she was going to die. Hospice was offered. "NO"...Mom wouldn't want that. Well it gets down to the wire, and Mom is dying and all of a sudden it's "what have you done to her? Send her to the hospital!" Of course, where Mom dies, it's too damn late. Did we do everything possible? Yes, I have no doubts. Still doesn't stop the lawsuit mess.

Yes, I actually feel the daughter planned this.

I deal with these asswipes several times a day. Families who want to postpone transfusions, IV's, tube feedings, medications etc...to wait and see what happens. I make sure everyday that they bluntly hear: "Ok, that's your decision to make, but (Mom or Dad) will die." The same thing that would happen if we postpone food and fluids on you. It is on you. Then they invariably ask "When will Mom die?" I answer the same each time "I'm not God, I have no idea. Call in the family and be prepared." Although this didn't work with the Darlin Daughter on the lawsuit...my conscience is clear. I did my job.

This new HIPAA law that went into effect in April has not made my job easier. Many family members by law I'm not allowed to tell a thing too. Families don't take kindly to this. By the time mom or dad enters a hospital to a nursing home, even if they have their right mind, many children want to do a role reversal. They think they become in charge. If mom or dad says "no" don't share with them...now I'm smack dab in the middle of a family feud. Guess who the bad guy is?

Many people have the foresight to obtain a durable power of attorney for healthcare or here in Michigan it's called a patient advocate. Many children think that gives them a right immediately to be in charge. Not true...only if the patient become incapacitated and deemed so by 2 physicians.

Now if neither of these two things are in place, before major decisions can take place there has to be a family consensus and all children in agreement if the patient becomes incapacitated. The more children the bigger the zoo party. Then they start throwing down and guess who is stuck in the middle. Then we have to petition for a court appointed guardian, which at times can take too long. Sometimes at this point I'll ship the patient off to the hospital just to get it out of my hands. Talk about a lawsuit waiting to happen there.

Ok, I've rambled enough...this could be a non-stop entry. Sometimes I feel like I could write the book:

Idiot's Guide for the Elderly with Fool's for Children

One piece of advice, if you do pick a child for DPOA in the event someone needs to make your decisions. Pick the child with the most common sense. Please do not pick the 30 year old who still lives at home and can't hold down a job. That is a clue this person can not function in the real world, that person necessarily wasn't hanging around home because they had your best interest at heart.

Ashes to Ashes

This is a bitch session, whine session...yes I want cheese with it, I'm sitting on the pity pot and the smell stinks.

I'm angry at my corporation, I'm angry at my boss, I'm angry at myself for being pissed. I'm burned out. I've been on this road before, and usually able to get a mind set going to get passed it, but it ain't happening this time.

I'm tired of working 10+ hours a day, bringing work home on the weekends and never being caught up. I'm tired of being on call 24 hours a day. I'm tired of not having enough staff. Im tired of dealing with the pharmacy, the hospitals, the labs, the shitty employees and stupid families. I'm tired of my corporation telling me to review every fucking thing to see where we can save a buck.

My boss is proud of the fact we made a profit of $280,000 last month. I don't give a rat's ass. I need more staff. What she is proud of just made me angrier.

I yelled at my boss today....I told her to try spending 4 hours out of her office on the floor and seeing how everybody is humping and still never even close to being caught up.

I yelled at an employee today who was suppose to be at work at 7am and came toodling in at 3:50pm with a doctors excuse for the day off. Didn't bother to call and let anyone know she wasn't coming. I asked her when she was going to grow up and take some responsibility for her job? She asked me not to treat her like a child...I told her when she quit acting like one. She asked me to change my tone...I told her if she didn't like it to get out of my office. She said no...I then told her to go before I removed her. She left. Oh yeah, this is the same damn employee who called in all last week with a "cold", who showed up at our works outpatient clinic yesterday trying to claim a work place injury. Apparently she missed the clue boat to get an understanding that you have to actually work to claim an injury.

Was I out of line? Oh yeah. I really don't give a shit. I'm sick of lazy ass employees with the work ethics of a god damn pig. I'm sick of money grubbing families looking and waiting for someone to fart wrong so they can sue. I'm sick of corporate people raping healthcare and compromising patient care.

Oh yeah, I'm burned out. 7-11 is looking damn good. I can't even blame PMS.

Ok, I'm finished. No, I don't feel better. But. I. Will. Get. Over. It. Maybe.

Swirlspice

I was going to do some gratuitous linking of a few of my favorites until I read this:

Erica of Swirlspice answers what it means to be white. Interesting read coming from a biracial viewpoint. Really deep for someone so young.

Erica, life is too short for it to be a big deal. The fact that some people miss that fact is why at such a young age it is on your mind. Your post makes my heart hurt in ways I can't put into words.

The American Statue

I woke up thinking about nightmares this morning. My sleep was dream free despite the book. My kids rarely ever had nightmares, but I do recall a one that my eldest son had when he was four.

I remember hearing this blood curdling scream in the middle of the night. Well when you live out in the country it doesn't take much noise to wake you up anyway, but something like this will bring you bounding out of bed. Usually my ex looking for the shotgun. The fact that this was coming from a child who rarely even cried, let alone yelled was cause for complete panic.

I flew up the stairs and my son was standing by his bed continuing to scream. After checking him over physically and attempting to get him to calm down, he finally blubbered out "the American Statue is trying to kill me."

So I brought him down stairs, gave him a glass of milk, talking at that time about anything but the dream. He wanted to talk about it though. Telling me how bad the American Statue was and he wanted to kill him, and yes, I knew who he was. He explained that he was on TV alot, and Mom and Dad both cuss at him. At 3am it escaped both of us who the hell the "American Statue" could be. He just kept insisting that was the man's name.

Even the next day he brought it up, asking if I've seen him yet. This just continued to stump me as to what this child could be referring too.

Finally about a week later he was watching TV and I was in the kitchen cooking and he lets out this yell, scream "Mommmmm, it's the American Statue." I run into the living room and there smiling sweetly for the cameras is Ronald Reagan.

Forever known in our house as the American Statue.

Demons, Rats and Cliffs

I really don't have anything boring, anything exciting...to say. Just nothing. It rained all day today, and all I wanted to do all day long was curl up with a book.

Well this is the book:

God Is A Bullet

Of course all that satanist shit gives me nightmares. Now there is a topic, nightmares. I have 4 things that I have nightmares about. A really good whopper will have all 4.

Demons, rats, cliffs...and strange big houses. Actually I haven't had any demon or rat nightmares for over a year. Now the driving off a cliff thing...really has to go. But I'll take that nightmare any day over the demon ones.

Ok, now I'm going to shut up or I'll be sleeping with the lights on.

Holy Hell

Kelley has out done her self AGAIN with this weeks Cul-De-Sac.

I have two questions for her:

Have you worn out your keyboard yet?

When do you sleep?

Amazing Kelley, it takes me 2 hours to link 5 people.

But What?

My alarm clock went off this morning simultaneously with a large clap of thunder.

I'm sure this is a sign...of something.

Probably that I should of gotten up at 5 and left for work about now. Thank God for the list of things to do when you are stuck in traffic.

Go Sopranos..

Edie Falco and James Gandolfini won the award for Best male and female actor. I love that show.

I'm an award show junkie. I've never quite figured out why, because I never quite know who anybody is.

Everybody Loves Raymond took quite a few of the awards...might of deserved it too, I've never seen it.

Bill Cosby won the Bob Hope Humanitarian award. Far as I'm concerned he had it coming since the first time I heard chicken heart.

The memoriam segment where they show clips of people who died in the past year always stuns me. You see there faces and think back over the years how many hours and hours you've spent sitting in front of tube watching them. Gregory Peck, Buddy Hackett, Bob Hope of course, Katherine Hepburn, Charles Bronson, David Brinkley, Buddy Ebsen. Henry Winkler did a tribute to John Ritter.

Even though they live on forever on film, part of my past feels likes it has slipped away.

I guess it's the way of the world...the way life is.

Blue Screen of Death

About 2 hours ago I was merrily working away on my computer doing some crap for work, when we had a power outage for about 5 seconds.

Lo and behold when the computer came back on...to that lovely shade of blue, telling me something about "dump" "corrupt"... well I'm not sure what it was saying other than the last line:

Contact Technical Support. Understood that line without problem.

Well I rebooted 3 times...just in case, you know...the computer was wrong.

So I decided to call Dell. I actually got a live person without being on hold. A very nice Indian gentleman that quickly became very exasperated because I couldn't understand him. His "D's" were "B's", his "C's" were "B's". At one point he was telling me to type "snapshot" ....well I wasn't getting that word. Finally I got the shot part, but snap was not clicking. He kept saying "You know, you know...you snap a rope."

Well I don't know about you, but I've never snapped a rope in my life. About this time I just gave this big sigh and said I'd call back tomorrow, maybe I would get it. Now we both know that I was thinking maybe I could call back tomorrow and get someone I could understand. Well then he argued with me...nicely, but still argued. He insisted that we do this today...well he was so adamant I was concerned maybe he was concerned that I would complain. Which I had no intentions of doing...I was just at the end of my rope and ready to snap ...yanno?

Finally...after starting from the beginning 4 times we finally communicated and my computer is fixed. I hope he went off to enjoy a nice coffee break...poor guy deserves it.

Strange Sensations and Mozilla Firebird

I always have this compulsion to mess with the template on Sundays. This compelling need to change colors or fonts. So far I've resisted it...but it's getting harder.

I. Will. Not. Screw. With. The. Template.

On the advice of Dean , I downloaded Mozilla Firebird yesterday. After all he is the one that got me off of Blogspot and on to MT. So he is my blogging internet god. So if he gives the thumbs up, I will humbly follow.

So I've been cruising around. I've had one serious freeze up with a strange noise....sort of scared the shit out of me, but I survived it. As for pages loading quicker I haven't noticed anything different from IE. What I do notice is if I call up AOL to get my email it takes it a little longer to load. No biggy.

I think Tony first said on his blog that the little buttons for italics, bold etc. is gone from MT posting page, and he's right, they aren't there. Again, no biggy, I never got mine to work....or I never figured it out anyway.

I've only noticed one blog that looks different and that's .....an error occurred then it's only slightly in the layout of the frames.

Then there was another Chris Lawrence that says "Access Denied"....but 30 minutes later I could load it.

So I'm still on the fence here.

Ouch!

Steve at Little Tiny Lies has a kidney stone. My Grandmother in her lifetime had a couple of those and she says it's very comparable to being in labor.

I'm sure that will give Steve something to ponder as he prepares to deliver. I hope it passes quickly and he's back to his blogging. Although the opiates are a good plus....you don't get that in labor.

My ex-husband had a couple of bouts with kidney stones. The very first was a night I will never forget.

We had been dating about a month and he invited me over to cook for him. Well my cooking skills pretty much consisted of scrambling eggs and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but I'm a woman, I figured I could do this.

So the menu was meatloaf, macaroni and cheese and some vegetable which now slips my mind. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I only had to call my Grandma twice during preparation.

It actually didn't come out too bad. Edible, coulda been better but what the hell. So after we cleaned up the kitchen, grabbed a couple of beers and went to watch some TV. Should of been a clue of the next twenty years of my life...but I was young and dumb.

After about 30 minutes he gets up without saying anything and heads into the bathroom. In about 5 minutes I hear this loud retching starting...and it just keeps on going. Oh shit. I am actually at this time thinking somehow I food poisoned him. The retching continues until I hear a loud thud in the bathroom and then a huge groan.

I actually ran to the bathroom and there he was laying on the floor doubled up holding his stomach. This is not a good thing. Now that I think of it, maybe it should of been his clue for what was in store for the next 20 years...but I digress.

I ask him if he wants me to call an ambulance but since we are 30 minutes from the nearest town, I am thinking he could be dead by then. The man was green.
He moans "no, give me a minute". Uh huh.

I go call Grandma and ask what should I do for food poisoning. She asks me if I'm sick and I assure her I feel fine. So she assures me it probably wasn't my food. So I head back to the bathroom deciding maybe I could figure this out since I'm in my first year of nurse's training.

Now he says "get me to a hospital". Ok, so much for nursing skills but I can drive a car. As you can imagine the drive was horrible...way too much moaning and retching.

Within an hour of arriving at the ER he was diagnosed with renal calculi aka kidney stones. ER's are much different in Iowa, you actually get seen the same day.

Twenty years later I wish it had been food poisoning. Again...I'm digressing.

The Hippest City in the USA

That's right...Des Moines, Iowa.
Now I didn't say that.
These people did.

He's Back

The Sarge is finally back, safe, sound, clean, shaved and satisfied. Hopefully in that order.

Missed ya Sarge.

Need HTML help?

Finally I find a site that can help me understand CSS, HTML, frames, tables...and yes, even colors.

Lissa Explains it All

Thank God some people have the patience to explain it to children someone like me.

Tokyo Earthquake

According to the Associated Press a 5.5 earthquake hit Tokyo today.

I wonder what they are saying about this guy now?

Too weird.

Morning Stroll

Becareful all, Velociman is worshipping strange gods again. Shit, anything could happen now.

LittleA gets his donuts at Hooters.

Death is looking for someone's mother.

I'm hoping Daria has time to post that recipe for vodka popsicles after the new do.

Gennie is offering free MT Blogs. Yes, you can get off of blogspot. Follow that link!

Geoffrey is wondering if the nut falls far from the tree. Umm...Geoffrey? No.

Tony just had to share this giant rodent thang with us. I honestly think I could of gone the rest of my life without have knowing this.

Steve at Little Tiny Lies makes a good case for idiot warning labels, and maybe we need an idiot warning alert for hurricanes?

Get your Allah mugs, T-shirts and bears here. I really, really think I must have a mug. Allah just entertains the shit out of me. Thank you.

Mala is looking for advice to give friends. Here's what I'd tell them: Are you fucking nuts? Get a clue! This is child's play. Run!

Dax talks about the sport of deer hunting. Well Dax would you be surprised that some of us just happen to get their first kill by wandering around in the woods with a bottle of blackberry brandy? Remembering "Do. Not. Shoot. At. Orange." I have matured, I can assure you. Now I would love to have some venison tenderloin smothered in mushroom gravy. Oh yeah.

Jimi Hendrix

In one of my commutes to and from work this week I heard on the radio that September 18 was the anniversary of Jimi Hendrix's death.

I'm not sure where he ended up on the Rolling Stone's list of greatest guitar players. Sure, I could do some research but he's #1 on my list that's all that matters. He was THE Man.

I played the piano for years, I love piano music, pretty isn't it? Guitars speak, they touch, they make love, it can make you sad, make you happy, in fact it touches my soul.

Before I was even a teen I found Jimi. Jimi scared me as much as he fascinated me, literally he did. I should of been craving to hear the Monkeys like my friends. No, Jimi opened a world for a pre-teen that was dark, exciting and very different. I think it scared my mother more.

The Official Jimi Hendrix Website
states the week of September 28, PBS will have a week long series by Martin Scorsese on "The Blues" which will include Jimi. I'm not going to miss that one, which is scheduled to air October 2.

Update

It's viral meningitis, not bacterial. Amen. Finally got it confirmed around 11am this morning through the public health department.

Channel 4 was ringing us off the hook though. How do these people scoop out a story that fast?

Long story, long day, and damn if I want to repeat it one more time. Now it's time to veg.

I believe a first...

Tiger Raggin' & Rantin' has given me a gratuitous link. Thank you kind Sir.

What's really amazing is a baby boomer has finally linked me. Peace baby.

Interesting things

About 5pm this afternoon I was enlightened by a phone call that I'm dealing with a potential disease outbreak in my facility. An employee contacted the facility to say she has been diagnosed with this, confirmed by lab tests.

It is not SARS, hepatitis...or the usual outbreaks you read about. I'm not going to post what it is, til after the threat is past. And hopefully nothing will come of this.

This is something I've not encountered directly before, so I did some research online at work, and here tonight. I gave a rapid inservice to the staff in very generic terms to avoid panic and a massive "blue flu". Made a zillion phone calls to the corporate yahoos and tried to locate the Medical Director...his day off. Lucky me. Never did make contact.

I'm sure the hospital will contact the public health department so who knows if I will be dealing with them too.

Now it's just a waiting game.

I'm. Not. A.