I had a conversation with my friend this morning about relationships in general. I really hate the relationship conversation. I'm not sure there is another topic that so provokes or even mandates searching of ones own behavior, values, past actions then THE relationship topic.

If there is a person alive that hasn't had some form of relationship come to an end either amicably or with fireworks, I'd like to meet that person and play 20 questions. Least I'd be asking hard questions of them instead of myself. So much easier, you know?

What I have a tendency to do in a relationship is at some point...I quit concentrating on the enjoying part and start examining it. That's the number one thing I hate about myself in a relationship. So in the examination period for me, a mental list of positive and negative starts forming. Have you ever noticed how one negative thing has more clout then 10 positive things? Then that leads me to self-examine if I'm a negative person. Well of course I'm a negative person stupid...I came up with the one negative thing that I'm dwelling on, right?

Of course since I'm so negative, I must be fucked up and shouldn't be in a relationship, right? I hate how my mind processes. I need a new processor.

Do yourself a favor, if someone brings up the relationship conversation: Runaway. Runaway.