But I'm going to the doctor today. PAP smear time. Ugh. Well actually it's been that time for a couple of years but I'm the Queen of Procrastination, remember? Actually I'm sort of a train wreck over this. I've been having problems for awhile now and I'm a firm believer if you ignore something it will go away. Right? That plan has worked for decades so far...well except the back problem, but I'm not going there.

I've spent alot of time this weekend, too much time thinking about my life and where it is going. Or maybe not going. It was a fluctuating hormonal emotional weekend. I've found someone who makes me happy in many ways. Something and someone I didn't believe existed. So it's time for the "other shoe to drop" right?

The Italian neighbourhood I grew up in bought into the concept for every good thing that happened (genuflects) something bad will happen. Now I can't say that I buy into that theory but it's in the back of my....ok, front and center of my mind. (genuflects) I'm definitely not taking a trip down memory lane to see if there is any factual basis to that concept. Right now I really don't want to know.

Anyway I hate doctors and I'll probably have to have some stupid tests and this will drag out for weeks and eventually just fade away. I'm wasting my time and money. See, I can deny and rationalize with the best of them. Gotta love those defense mechanisms.