Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

I can't seem to get Queen out of my head today. No, I'm not doing anything tonight, honestly I can't remember ever going out on New Year's Eve since the 70's. If I did, it must not of been very memorable.

I never have liked this day and it's not a good one for me. This time of year everyone is talking about resolutions and goals for the next year. Even work, I had to mail off a list of 5 goals for my department for the coming year. That was easy. Goals for my life is another story.

I used to make resolutions in the past. Some of the standard crap everyone has from time to time: eat healthy, lose weight, exercise, on and on. Sometimes I met them, sometimes I didn't. I never quite had a sense of accomplishment when I reached a goal, I found myself saying "what now?". Even worse, if I didn't, I'd beat myself up for it. Well screw that. I hate feeling guilt almost as much as jealousy. Both are damn miserable emotions.

So now I find I'm the most goalless person I've ever met. I have no aim or direction. I live one day at a time. That works well for today, but damn, what did I accomplish last year but ending a lousy relationship and a salary.

I think one of my big problems is I've never decided what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe I should start there.