I handed over a rather large check to my ex-husband yesterday. I bought back my home. The deal took place at his girlfriend’s house. I couldn’t help noticing a few of my things adorning her dwelling. That was when the first twinge of anger hit me. As Chris and I got into the car to leave, I commented on the fact that I hadn’t realized before now how much I hated that man.

I was quiet and pensive during the drive to my new old house. I don’t like to be angry. I really dislike the emotion of hate. I kept telling myself there was no need to acknowledge the two feelings that were bubbling up inside of me.

When we walked into the house, a flood of bad memories overcame me. Chris took me into his arms, saying, “You have your house back”. I tried to match the smile that was on his face as I went from room to room trying to shake the darkness that had entered my mood.

We emptied the load we had brought with us and left. I asked Chris if we could make a few stops before heading back to our current home. I needed something important. I bought a flag, not an American flag, just one of those decorative outdoor things people hang.

Today, when we drop off another load of boxes, I’m going to hang the flag. I’m reclaiming this property as mine. I will allow myself a short period of anger. I’ll forgive the past. I’ll embrace the present.

I need to look up resources for today. Chris may need an aphrodisiac for his role in my plan to exorcise some ghosts from our new home.