This post actually hits pretty close to home for me. I know what you mean about a "black hole" because I went through something similar a long time ago (although I won't post details here because that's more personal than I feel comfortable with) and although "ending it all" was a quick fix, for some reason I never took that road. It just didn't seem like an option-- there were too many people from my past who would have been happy to see me gone. I want to disappoint those jerks for as long as possible. Is that anger or stubborness? Maybe lots of both.

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, it doesn't work that way for other people. I wish I had a better understanding of this phenomenon, but it baffles me.