For the most part I like my job. I just don't deal with bullshit well. Some of the recent family things I'm talking about with the threats of being sued, or actually being sued:

1. Dad was admitted with severe back pain but to recoup from a cardiac problem, but according to the daughter only developed after being admitted. Come to find out Dad was in a serious car accident 30 years ago and several of his vertebrae were fractured, which mended without alot of torture through the years. Well 2 months before being admitted Dad fell at home and the pain resurfaced. Hospitals being what they are today only dealt with the immediate cardiac concern and sent him off to us. Dad after a multitude of years of cuddling up with Jack Daniels actually has a multitude of problems. So he's being sent off to a variety of specialists since admission. Monday, Darlin Daughter takes Dad out to the nephrologist and swings by his favorite chiropractor for his back pain on the way back. When he returns, he can't hardly move. So now she's "going to sue your ass if we don't get to the bottom of this back pain". Hello?

Second case: Dad who has had a stroke who needs thickened liquids was found by Darlin Daughter sitting in the hallway sipping a glass of water - unthickened. Some well meaning passerby (staff, patient, visitor)? Gave him a cup out of the drinking fountain because Dad was thirsty. Well shit happens. Mind you Dad has lived there for 2 years without problems. Darlin Daughter visits every other month and goes off the deep end seeing this. Yells at me that she is going to sue my ass if he ever gets aspiration pneumonia. Well yeah Dad can...happens alot if you have swallowing problems, especially when you choke food down and don't want a tube feed. Dad ate his meals by my office because of the problems and I had performed the heimlach manuever on him several times in 2 years. So I told her I wouldn't live under that threat, and I'd have Social Services contact her in the morning regarding alternate placement. Seven days later Dad was taken to another facility, fell 3 days later and fractured his hip and died during surgery. Yes I feel bad because I lost my temper and let psychotic family members interfere.

Last but not the least, this is a current lawsuit:

Mom was admitted from the hospital after being found by Darlin Daughter at home with multiple bedsores and a massive weight loss. Obvious Darlin Daughter who lives close by hadn't visited in a while. In our facility she continued to refuse to eat, continued to lose weight and of course the bedsores were not healing. No matter how much we had family meetings telling this bitch that if Mom didn't have tube feeding, IV's etc....she was going to die. Hospice was offered. "NO"...Mom wouldn't want that. Well it gets down to the wire, and Mom is dying and all of a sudden it's "what have you done to her? Send her to the hospital!" Of course, where Mom dies, it's too damn late. Did we do everything possible? Yes, I have no doubts. Still doesn't stop the lawsuit mess.

Yes, I actually feel the daughter planned this.

I deal with these asswipes several times a day. Families who want to postpone transfusions, IV's, tube feedings, medications etc...to wait and see what happens. I make sure everyday that they bluntly hear: "Ok, that's your decision to make, but (Mom or Dad) will die." The same thing that would happen if we postpone food and fluids on you. It is on you. Then they invariably ask "When will Mom die?" I answer the same each time "I'm not God, I have no idea. Call in the family and be prepared." Although this didn't work with the Darlin Daughter on the lawsuit...my conscience is clear. I did my job.

This new HIPAA law that went into effect in April has not made my job easier. Many family members by law I'm not allowed to tell a thing too. Families don't take kindly to this. By the time mom or dad enters a hospital to a nursing home, even if they have their right mind, many children want to do a role reversal. They think they become in charge. If mom or dad says "no" don't share with them...now I'm smack dab in the middle of a family feud. Guess who the bad guy is?

Many people have the foresight to obtain a durable power of attorney for healthcare or here in Michigan it's called a patient advocate. Many children think that gives them a right immediately to be in charge. Not true...only if the patient become incapacitated and deemed so by 2 physicians.

Now if neither of these two things are in place, before major decisions can take place there has to be a family consensus and all children in agreement if the patient becomes incapacitated. The more children the bigger the zoo party. Then they start throwing down and guess who is stuck in the middle. Then we have to petition for a court appointed guardian, which at times can take too long. Sometimes at this point I'll ship the patient off to the hospital just to get it out of my hands. Talk about a lawsuit waiting to happen there.

Ok, I've rambled enough...this could be a non-stop entry. Sometimes I feel like I could write the book:

Idiot's Guide for the Elderly with Fool's for Children

One piece of advice, if you do pick a child for DPOA in the event someone needs to make your decisions. Pick the child with the most common sense. Please do not pick the 30 year old who still lives at home and can't hold down a job. That is a clue this person can not function in the real world, that person necessarily wasn't hanging around home because they had your best interest at heart.