I haven't felt good for the past couple of days and I hate that. I'm rarely ever sick and I can't even say I'm sick now. Just something is not right.

I hate going to the doctor, the one time I actually was majorly sick in my life they couldn't find anything wrong. After a few hundred dollars worth a tests and a prescription for prozac (why any physician would diagnose someone with depression who has a temp over 101 for 3 weeks is beyond me) when I felt like I was dying I finally diagnosed myself, made the physician do the right test...and yes, I had mono. At 40. Threw the prozac away and went home to bed.

About a year ago I went back to a doc here in MI finally and had a physical. All the lab tests and that crap was normal until we got to the mammogram, then the ultrasound. Oh joy, they found a lump. Due to the great medical system MI has it took 3 months to get to the biopsy stage...then, 7 days later I hear they didn't get enough to biopsy. Time to start the whole process over again.

Well I never went back. Fuck it. I just tripled my life insurance, the kid is set. So yesterday I get a card in the mail saying I'm past due for my yearly mammogram. Lovely. I think I'll ignore this just like the IRS.

I made a decision years ago I'd never do chemo or radiation. I probably would a mastectomy. My Mom had one when she was 38 for breast cancer...and I definitely could live without a breast. I think I'd walk funny though.

I have no clue why I am thinking about this today, because I had completely put it out of my mind til that card came yesterday. Damn I hate doctors.