I had an interesting conversation with one of my Arabic patients family today...one I was not quite prepared for. I was sitting up on the 2nd floor at a nurses station charting when I hear

"Who talk to about transfer?"

I look up to see who is talking and the family member is standing about 8 feet back from the nurses station looking at me. By herself. I thought I heard what she said but I was engrossed in the chart and not sure...so I say "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Well this visibly irritates her and she repeats the question. I've had one previous conversation with this woman and we obviously had a failure to communicate. I ask "What kind of transfer?" She never approaches the nurses station and says "You know, transfer?

I ask "Does Mrs. So and So need help out of bed?" Reasonable question.

She getting louder states "No, no..transfer to rehab."

Ahh...I think I got it. "Oh ok, the physical therapist will be up to get her for therapy, you don't have to take her down."

Now she's just plain pissed off and states "NO NO transfer!"

Ok...."Mam, I'm not sure what you are asking."

This is when she stomps her foot and bellows "Don't you understand English? What matter with you?"

This is the point where I WANT to say...Are you fucking kidding me you pompous ass bitch, you've only used 10 words out of the English dictionary and you are asking me?" But of course, I don't. I turn to a couple of nurses behind me and ask....."Does anyone know English better than me who can help this woman?"

Of course the chickenshits don't say a word. Who can blame them...a 250# pissed off Arabic woman is nothing to sneeze at.

So I turn back to her and say "No Mam, no one here can help you...try Social Services." She was obviously pissed when she stomped off. She can get over it or get out.

So about an hour later I get a call from a male relative who thankfully sounds American born and has a much greater command of his English and temper. His request "I want Mom in a room with another Arabic person now."

For cryin-the-fuck-outloud...does this asswipe think I grow Arabics on trees?
So I politely tell him "I don't have a another bed open in the place..this is it." Actually he was very polite but states "I want this arranged as soon as possible."

Well ain't that special. Why is it always the ones that my tax dollars are paying for who are always the most demanding...I never did get that. So I politely tell him of another facility where the administrator is Arabic...and maybe he should look into placing Mom there.

That always pisses my boss off when I invite people to go elsewhere...but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.